Embarking upon the union of marriage is one of the most foundational events of a person’s life. Most of us understand this, and it is the reason why we desire to be married. There’s nothing sweeter than intertwining our hopes and dreams with the life of another, and God wants this for us. Part of my purpose within the body of Christ is to encourage singles to keep the faith; to keep pressing their way through until they witness the manifestation of this dream. The reason why this is so important is because when you do finally see this happen for yourself, in real life technicolor, it’s a testament to your faith and an awesome opportunity to glorify and love on God for His many blessings.
The relentless question that many Christian singles have is “Why is it taking so long?” Why is it that year after year passes by, and you still don’t have the person that God has ordained to be a part of your life? Well, the one thing that you can be assured of is that if you can dream it, God can and will perform it, if you keep the faith.
Marriage is not required to fulfill our destinies in Christ. It is not a prerequisite to living a Christian life that is pleasing to God, but if you desire it, God desires it for you. But we have to keep it real, not all who desire marriage will make it down that aisle. There’s a path to marriage, and it is one that requires obedience, and spiritual growth and maturity. Most of us look at all the hurdles we’ve had to jump over and all the relationship obstacles we’ve encountered, and we label them as heartbreaks to the hilt. We don’t see them as teachable lessons. We don’t envision them as stepping stones to get us to where we desire to be, and this is one of the greatest mistakes we can make.
Heavenly Father takes what the enemy meant for bad and uses it to sharpen us spiritually. It is important for us to recognize this, because it helps us be prepared and poised for the blessing we seek. This a critical truth. We can learn so much from our mistakes.
Just the other day, an acquaintance shared with me that she had been invited to a church fund-raiser. It was right after work. She was grappling with the idea of attending because she didn’t feel she was appropriately dressed, and she didn’t think there was time to drive home and change. I thought she looked wonderful and encouraged her to go. “Besides, you might meet someone new!” I said.
I’ve known her for a while, and she has expressed to me her desire to be married more than once, but her immediate response to my urging that day was one straight out of a “I’ve given up” mentality. She told me that she was done with preparing herself or even thinking that God would bless her with a good man, so much so that she didn’t want to hear anything more about it.
I understood her pain and level of disappointment. I believe it stems from years of not seeing the answer she expected from her prayers, but I heard someone say that it takes equally as much faith to fail as it does to succeed, so why not use your faith to succeed. One of the greatest gifts that we can give ourselves is one of learning to be pliable and flexible to the Will of God in this way—to be determined to use our faith to overcome our heartbreaks, and to use those darts to be in a greater position mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually. No matter how many times you fall, get back up determined to see God greater and to grow in love.
What does it mean to be pliable and flexible to God’s Will in this area of our lives? We all say that we believe God is omnipotent and omniscient, but we forget sometimes how extraordinary His magnificence is. God knows our end. He knew the end result of our destinies before we were even conceived in our mother’s womb. Romans 8:29 (NLT) tells us, “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Heavenly Father has dreamed a greater, grander dream for us than the one we have dreamed for ourselves. He does exceedingly abundant above anything that we can ask or think, but these things are stored up for us and released at the appointed time. They come when we’re at a place in our spiritual walk to receive them, and we need to stretch in our believing, however long it takes, until we receive the promise.
We pray and ask God to make all the details of our relationships work out in a way that will end in marriage. If things don’t work out the way we hope, some of us become disillusioned in the faith. We allow ourselves to be overcome with frustration and disappointment, when the person we’ve been praying about isn’t the one for us at all. It was never God’s Will and Plan for that man to be the husband. We should have learned from the experiences he brought to our lives and used the lessons to be stronger in faith. Instead, many of us are acquiescing to defeat because of heartache. We’re allowing the enemy to steal our blessings.
I remember feeling hopeless like this at one time, because I looked all around me and couldn’t see a drop of newness in my life; it was there, I was just too emotionally distraught to see it. I let my emotions keep me from hearing God’s voice. This was the time when spiritual comforters spoke a word of wisdom into my heart. That word helped to take my focus off myself and put it back on God and His Kingdom, where it belongs.
Song of Solomon 2:10-14(The Message) beautifully conveys the feeling of newness, and it should inspire us to continue in faith regarding our future union. It says, “Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Look around you: Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone! Spring flowers are in blossom all over. The whole world’s a choir—and singing! Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios. Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed, and cherry trees fragrant with blossoms. Oh, get up, dear friend, my fair and beautiful lover—come to me! Come, my shy and modest dove—leave your seclusion, come out in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing and your face is ravishing.”
The seasons are changing, and something will blossom for you, but you’ve got to bring your faith out in the open. Instead of concentrating on the mate, focus on knowing God’s Will for your life. Let Him guide you through His Holy Spirit along the path He’s destined. When you do this, something wonderful will happen, and it will be the blessing you’ve been praying to receive.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson
“It’s Time for Something Wonderful!” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2016. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.