A good friend of mine met a man through another mutual friend. They engaged in a little small talk, exchanged numbers, and he said that he would call her in a couple of days when he was back in town. True to his word, he phoned. They had a few really nice conversations and planned a date. Prior to the date, my friend said to me, “I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a stalker that calls all the time!” I found this to be a strange comment for her to make, because he had not given her any reason to suspect that he was anything of the sort. He had simply held to his word, and that’s a really admirable quality, but she immediately dismissed it and went straight for the negative.
Rather than allowing this man to get comfortable with occupying the space of acquaintance or friendship, my friend tried to peg him as a possible marital partner, and began stacking him against her list of criteria. Not only had she jumped to conclusions before getting to know who he is, but she was already piling on the baggage from her previous relationships. “…And if he has more than two kids under the age of 18, I’ll entertain only one date, and that’s it!” she said.
Galatians 5:6(NLT) tells us, “For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” Faith has requirements, and they do not let up, but increase as we get closer and closer to the fulfillment of God’s promises. So imagine if you begin a new friendship by wrapping it in fear from day one. It will take incredible energy to reroute it from that point.
2Peter 3:18(NLT) tells us, “Rather, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All glory to him, both now and forever! Amen.” God has given us our marching orders. He wants us to grow in Christ so that we have the spiritual strength to navigate any challenges, and we know that relationships can be very challenging at times. As we learn to love others with the love of Christ, we will be amazingly blessed by the outcomes. In a marriage, the spouses grow in Christ together as they become one before God. This is what Heavenly Father wants and it is a beautiful thing. It’s one of the reasons that single Christians should occupy their time getting tight in their relationships with God, and becoming spiritually sharp.
Single people can be a great example of the light of Christ, illuminating the understanding of their potential spouses about our precious Savior, and demonstrating his love in those areas where the other person might not be as strong. This is possible because of the amount of alone time we get to spend with the Lord before we get married. It can be a time in which he teaches us to express our faith through his love.
Some of us just haven’t given Christ the reigns when it comes to spending time in prayer and in God’s Word, so we get to know him better. We rush to occupy our time with other things, and this not help us develop the faith and spiritual strength we need.
Learning to pace ourselves is very important, not only when it comes to meeting someone new, but also in giving ourselves time to make good decisions for our own hearts. God has given us the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit. He, the Spirit, will help us maintain a healthy pace. If we accept his help, he will guide us and keep us out of danger. So rather than jumping to conclusions, and letting negative baggage from the past ruin our futures, we can choose to demonstrate spiritual maturity. You must have faith in God that you don’t ever have to rush anything when it comes to relationships. You can simply enjoy meeting new people and being a blessing to them.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Learning to Pace Yourself”, written by Kim Times and Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2016. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.