We all know the precious verse in Proverbs 31:10 (NLT) that says, “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.” God is so incredibly gracious to have placed this prized gem of wisdom in His Word. He knew that at every rotation of change, and at every level of advancement for humanity, women, in particular, would need to be reminded of their worth. Heavenly Father is the definitive authority on a woman’s worth. He alone determines what has value and what doesn’t, and His should be the standard that rules. He created us, and wove us together through the love of Christ. He made us sit together in heavenly places, and has made us joint heirs with our Lord and Savior. Still, some of us are struggling to see ourselves for the jewels that Heavenly Father has made us.
The word ‘worth’ is defined as a quality that renders something desirable or valuable. It is also a quality that commands respect. A person who knows their worth understands that it is not within another individual’s capability to determine it. It’s not calculated based on any system that man has put in place. God alone has defined this for us. So it stands to reason that if we are not valuing ourselves rightly, it is at the very root a problem that requires a spiritual solution.
What does a portrait of a woman that does not value herself look like? We have to get a little deep to tackle this question, because there are so many sisters that are completely losing themselves in relationships. We use the term ‘losing themselves’ very loosely here, because some beloveds have never stood in the fullness of their personhood in the first place; they’ve never had a firm grip on it. It’s in this very vulnerable condition that you see women on the receiving side of abuse and bad treatment. It’s compounded daily because the treatment from their partners doesn’t get any better, but worse, and they continue to take it.
You see sisters holding out for the man to have a change of heart, or for him to wake up and realize what he has. Sister-girl is trying to be that ride-or-die chick, but the truth is that she’s letting something that is already dead be the measuring stick for her own worth. The very person, who through his actions, behaviors, and words, is devaluing her worth, is the person she is clinging to. It’s as if she’s carrying around on her back a lifeless body, because she’s holding up and supporting someone that refuses to channel back her way the love and energy she’s giving. No wonder she feels exhausted and depleted; the baggage of two individuals is weighing her down.
It’s no secret that we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. In other words, if we accept it, it’s all we’ll get. So it’s obvious that if we will allow ourselves to be treated in a manner that is not conducive to Godly conduct, we are in effect creating a negative cycle where we give out of brokenness, and brokenness is returned to us.
If you find yourself in circumstances like this, understand that only you can take the initial step of surrender. Release is paramount. The first thing that you need to understand is that this isn’t about ego and arrogance. There are a number of women that profess their worth verbally, or through material camouflage like designer clothes, shoes, and jewelry, but on the inside their souls are mush. Arrogance will always cause a person to live life in reverse, because it is a state of mind and being that goes against the grain of God’s love.
Humility is always and forever the order of the day. Humility dictates that you take a stand that causes you to stop leaning on your emotions, and begin to lean on what God says in His Word. God declares that if you will follow His Word, He will make you the head and not the tail; and that you will always be on top and never at the bottom. (Deut 28:13) This is what God will do for you; so we ought to value what He values, which means that we should not allow anyone to tear down what He has built up.
The rules of surrender teach us that when we release something, the vacuum or hole it leaves must be filled by something else. In our place of vulnerability, we cringe at the notion of release because we cannot imagine that something can fill that hole, and the pain of leaving it exposed and open is unfathomable to us; we don’t think we can handle it. As God’s children, we are commanded to walk by faith and not by sight. Faith dictates an order of obedience first; and there is no greater priority than obedience to God. HE is our strength. He fills the hole; it’s what He does.
Heavenly Father has commanded us to strip away the thing that holds us back, and cling to the thing that propels us forward. You cling to the gift that is within you. You might think that you need to lean on another warm body for support. Others might even tell you to call this or that person for help, but until you recognize that your Source of all that is healing and powerful is housed inside your very soul, you will not tap into your destiny and be finally free. In 1Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT), God tells us, “19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”
God in Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit is all you need. He tells us this, and we must believe it. God purchased you and paid the highest price of all eternity. He gave the life of His only begotten Son as a sacrifice for you. Proverbs 31:10 is meant to empower women not to the point of egotism, but to the point of humility, gratitude, obedience to God, and surrender to Him and His Will.
You cannot define your worth, for God has already done it through Christ. When you own the price He has paid for you in your soul, His love and power will swell in you and overflow like a river, and you will allow only those who see your truth in Christ to drink from your well.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Know Your Worth” written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.