I read an article recently where a woman of God declared that one of the greatest things she could say about her husband is that she highly respects him. I thought to myself, this must be every woman’s desired declaration. For this reason, I ask the question: How do two people get to this point and stay there?
Truly every woman around the world would want to be able to look through the lens of adoration and respect for their mates, but this is certainly not always the case. As we all know, relationships sometimes ebb and flow – you take the good with the bad. But going through the trials and tribulations that can impact every relationship, and being able to still remain in a place of love and respect for one another is not always easy. The changes we go through can range from a bump in the road to a catastrophic collision. We need to learn how to avoid the latter, and it is possible through the love of Christ.
All of us go into relationships with baggage, and if you think you don’t have any, you’re setting yourself up for failure from the start. We all have it, and one of the most important things that we can do for ourselves and for our relationships is to come clean about our stuff. There absolutely has to be a healthy place within you that allows the love of God room to grow. The way to continually make room for this space is to cultivate it through honesty. Yep! It’s that old mirror that we have to look into and be brutally honest about the reflection that is staring back at us.
Proverbs 19:1(NLT) tells us, “Better to be poor and honest than to be dishonest and a fool.” Wisdom and honesty greatly help to preserve a relationship. We must have the wisdom to know that if we’re going to expect honesty and respect from the other person, then we had better make sure that we’re first honest with ourselves. We can’t expect a higher quality than that of which we are personally demonstrating as well.
We live in a culture where folks do this less and less. No one wants to be accountable and take responsibility for the errors they make and the negative attitudes they might bring to the table. We will never escape the necessity to do this. Being accountable and responsible are marks of maturity, and we must be mature in order to handle the heft of commitment required for marriage.
Understand that when God blesses you with a good thing, He does so with the empowerment to maintain it. We see this in Deuteronomy 11. In the first verse, God told the Children of Israel, “You must love the Lord your God and always obey his requirements, decrees, regulations, and commands.” God was preparing them for the blessing that He had promised, and His first order of business was to demand their obedience to His requirements. He would not have required something from them of which they had not been endowed to perform. He had equipped them for obedience, and God expected them to do their part. This is a pattern for success, and it will always work to cement for us the blessing that is destined to come our way.
One of the reasons why our Heavenly Father demanded this of the Children of Israel is because LOVE WILL WORK IN OBEDIENCE. In other words, obedience is the landscape where love does its best work. Disobedience will destroy that work. God wanted the Children of Israel to be successful and to hold on to the promise He had given them, and this is what He desires for us as well.
In Deuteronomy 11:7-8(NLT), God said, “7 But you have seen the Lord perform all these mighty deeds with your own eyes! 8 Therefore, be careful to obey every command I am giving you today, so you may have strength to go in and take over the land you are about to enter. 9 If you obey, you will enjoy a long life in the land the Lord swore to give to your ancestors and to you, their descendants – a land flowing with milk and honey!” This is not rocket science. God told them that His covering and endowment is a byproduct of honoring His Word. It will ensure that they maintain the blessing and live long lives to enjoy it. The Children of Israel were not perfect. They made tons of mistakes and we need only read God’s Word to see this. God was calling them to take corrective action when they veered off the path, so they could successfully navigate their way back on it. This is what we have to do as well.
We’re going to have to recognize that there’s some junk in our trunks that might keep us from operating in the positive. It will zap the strength that we will need in order to preserve the blessing of a relationship that will ultimately yield marriage. Don’t shy away from this stuff. The Holy Spirit wants to help you heal in places that hold you back, and your willingness to be honest about them will fuel his efforts. Let the Lord correct you. Obey His instruction and direction! This will give you the spiritual strength to take what is yours, so that you can enjoy a long life under God’s covering of a blessed marital union.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“When God Blesses You with A Good Thing”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.