Every New Year’s Day, Sandra and her family would go to the beach early in the morning. It had been their tradition for the last twelve years. Everyone would be loaded down with beach chairs, books, and blankets; but Sandra was always the first one out of the car. She would rush to the beach with her arms full. One of their traditions was that the first one to reach the beach and lay out their stuff wouldn’t have to do the morning plunge in the ocean. Sandra wasn’t fond of being in competition with her sisters and brothers, but in her view, it was better to get to the finish line first than to have to plunge into that freezing cold water.
As she got older, she noticed her relationships with men often had a competitive side, and she hated it. Her last boyfriend tried to outdo her with cooking. If she cooked anything that tasted really good, instead of complimenting her, he’d say, “oh, I can make it better.” The relationship before that, she noticed whenever she received a compliment from someone, her boyfriend didn’t like it. He’d ask her questions like, “Why do you have to always wear make-up?” More than once, he told her, “You thrive on attention, and you always try to look better than everyone else.” When someone paid her a compliment, he tried to undercut it, and she never understood his motivation for this.
It puzzled her for a long time, and she was also beginning to become a little fearful of starting new relationships. Finally, she decided to take a different approach. Instead of blaming the men for their shortcomings, Sandra asked herself the critical question, “What is it about me that attracts a competitive spirit in the men I date?”
Hebrews 4:12-13(MSG) says, “God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.” God’s Word is the truth, and it is so powerful that it cuts through any-and-everything and separates it. Then we can look at the inside and see that the lie is ugly and destructive, but the truth is the light of God’s love. The question Sandra asked of herself demonstrated her desire to know the truth. She was seeking to expose the lie so she could get it out of her life and let the light of God’s truth shine in her heart.
This was a courageous move. It’s not about beating ourselves up. It’s about knowing that we’re in a race, and in order to get to the finish line and receive the prize waiting for us, we’ve got to press. This kind of pressing ain’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. We don’t know the answers to the deep questions of our souls, but the first step is to ask a critical question of ourselves, knowing that the answer may not paint the rosiest picture of our inner being. The next step is to ask God to open up the answer for us, so we can get right with Him through the Lord Jesus Christ.
James 1:5(NLT) says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” When it comes to relationships, we’ve got to be willing to sort, analyze, and ask questions. A relationship with a partner that God has ordained to be a part of our journeys on this earth is a very precious thing. It’s worth it to endure a little bit of discomfort by asking questions that we may not like, because ultimately, the answers will help us to prepare for the blessing we so earnestly desire.
Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Again, it’s not about self-condemnation. It’s about understanding that we have some things in our souls that keep us from being the best version of ourselves for God. To the extent that we desire to please Him, to honor the example of Christ, and to receive what’s ours, we must invite God to show us the negatives in our lives. We can then root them out, and begin to attract from a place of truth and love.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“First One to the Finish Line!”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.