If the person you’re dating isn’t ready for a marital commitment and you are, what are you expecting to happen? Do you expect that he will change his mind? Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you or are you willing to simply continue with things as they are? It’s important to ask yourself these questions and to examine the answers with as much scrutiny as possible. The major reason for this is because the answers are a good indication of how you see yourself and how you see God responding to your desire for marriage.
1 Do you expect that he will change his mind?
Heavenly Father did not intend that relationships would be as challenging as they are. But this is the thing about us humans, we bring complexity and confusion into just about every arena of life. 1Corinthians 14:33 tells us undoubtedly that God is not the author of confusion, so our goal forever and always should be to let His peace abide with us. The only way to achieve this is to seek and understand His Will.
Genesis 1:26(NLT) tells us, “Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” God created us in His image, and He also gives us our mission. It is to reign within the earth’s realm. This is God’s Will! He did not give any human being the right to reign over another person. We can’t see into another person’s heart, and we cannot control their minds. We are to have dominion and authority in our own lives. This means we cannot change how someone responds to us. The most that we can do is change how we respond to them.
2 Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you?
In John 15:13(NKJV), Jesus Christ said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Again, humans complicate things way more than they need to be. We have taken the infallible treasure of love and tried to dice it up and split it in several different ways that suit our own agendas. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has demonstrated for us what love is and how it behaves, so we don’t get to put our spin on it. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and if authentic love is our goal, it must be expressed through our faith in Him.
After God created Adam, He saw that Adam was lonely. Genesis 2:20-23(NLT) tells us: “20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”
Adam had all dominion and authority in the earth. He was not weak or lacking because he was created from God’s glory to be perfect in every way. But Adam was without a companion, and it was always God’s plan to make Eve from Adam’s body, so he would have a perfectly suited spouse to love.
Because God loves us, just as He did for Adam and Eve, He will take care of our needs. If we are representing Christ in the way that God requires, we should never allow ourselves to be overly concerned about whether someone loves us back. Instead, loving God through the Lord Jesus Christ must be our main focus and concern. 2Corinthians 3:5 tells us that God is our Sufficiency. Another person cannot fulfill that role, and if we think they can, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. Therefore, we can never, under any circumstances, try to make another person our source or sufficiency. God is our Source. We must be very careful that we’re not trying to make a person our everything or depend on them to be. If we do this, we’ve stepped away from God’s love and may be in jeopardy of idolatry and obsession.
Are you willing to simply continue with things as they are?
God wants us to have happy lives and happy marriages. He doesn’t want to make our pleasure any less but wants our joy to be full. To accomplish this, the love of Jesus Christ must be firmly anchored in our hearts. When it isn’t, God will help us if we want to be helped. As we accept God’s help and commit ourselves to be led by His Spirit, we must accept that change is inevitable.
Things do not stay the same, and life doesn’t afford us the opportunity to continue being the same person we’ve always been. Therefore, we should not expect that the person we love will go on being who they are either. Life supports growth, change, and evolution; and all of it hangs on God’s purposes. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) says, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” So, the wisest thing we can do is be patient as God shows us what He has planned. Then, we can make decisions and choices in alignment with His Will, because these will be the best decisions and choices we can make for our lives.■
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“3 Questions You Must Answer” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.