I read a study this week that said that single people between the ages of 21-34 are still struggling to find what they consider a compatible partner. For many of them, living together is a more common option than marriage and it’s becoming increasingly prevalent. These studies suggest that those women who do marry typically find their marital partners at the age of 25, and men around the age of 28. These are moving targets of course, particularly with the climbing divorce rates, which might mean that some of these young marriages are not lasting long. Finding love seems to get harder for those that are older and single. It’s common for many older men to prefer a living-together arrangement, and most older women prefer marriage. As you can see, the statistics don’t paint the rosiest of pictures, but this is often the case when faith in God’s provision is left out of the equation.
Not only have many people conveniently forgotten God’s standard when it comes to marriage, but it appears they’ve decided that He needs some help in this area. And we know that’s not the case. So, in the interest of addressing some of the attitudes and opinions about how God’s Word applies to modern relationships, I decided to bring this up as I conversed with a group of Christian sisters who were willing to share their opinions. One of them believed that many singles today are very career-minded and desire to focus on establishing themselves financially before thinking about a spouse. Someone added that this is also a time when people opt for physical connections without any commitment ties.
Some, but not all, of the women I spoke to that are believers were committed to God’s Word and only want to be with the man that God has ordained for their lives. Others were candid about the complexity of maintaining the relationships they’re in and trying to do it without physical intimacy. They feel guilty, but don’t want to be without the companionship of the person they care about; so, they have given in to temptation, and feel it helps to preserve the relationship despite what God’s Word says.
We can’t be surprised that some of our greatest temptations will show up in our significant relationships, because the devil wants us to be one of the negative statistics; and he wants us to make choices that prioritize other people and things over God. This grieves the Holy Spirit, and in the long run, it will devastate our lives.
A temptation is a presentation of a choice. God taught us this in Genesis. Adam and Eve were presented with a tempting choice by the devil. They didn’t have to disobey God, but they did it because they chose to believe the devil’s word over God’s Word. This behavior is rampant in the world we live in, even among believers. We are still tempted by the devil to make decisions that signify we believe the opposite of what God’s Word tells us. No, we’re not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. We make poor choices and bad decisions sometimes, but Heavenly Father wants us to stop and think about what we’re doing. He wants us to make the process of “think before you act” a habit, so we don’t ruin the future that He desires to give us.
We make hundreds of decisions any given day. Some of great significance and some not so much. But when it comes to partnership and joining ourselves to another intimately, that’s a very significant decision, and it has a very significant impact on our lives. It is most certainly the truth that God will forgive us for all our sins. 1John 1:9(NLT) tells us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” God throws our sins as far as the east is from the west, and He remembers them no more. But here’s the thing we’ve got to know, His forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences for our poor choices and bad decisions. For every action there will be a reaction. That is law, and we cannot change it.
One of the reasons that the statistics for singles are troubling is because of the consequences for ignoring God’s Word and not obeying it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us and He cares about our happiness. He knows the challenges we face when it comes to patiently waiting for the right person, but we can’t think that our way is better for us than God’s way. Through Jesus Christ, God has given us a way to overcome the challenges of being single. In John 14:6(KJV), Jesus Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” He’s the pathway to the Father. All the spiritual blessings of peace, joy, unity, love, and righteousness come through him.
Whether or not we believe this, and the extent to which we believe it, will always be tested by the devil. Many of us have terrific lip service. We praise, we sing, we confess, but in our hearts, do we believe that God’s truth will set us free? Do we believe that following God’s Word will bring us the life we desire? If we believe it, our actions will back-up our beliefs. If we don’t believe it, we will follow our own way instead of following God’s way.
Each of us has choices. What path are we going to walk? Because we can’t walk a different path from the one Jesus Christ made available and expect to receive what’s on his path. Understand that the choices you make now are building your tomorrow and your future. In Matthew 4:4(NKJV), Jesus Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, and he faced each temptation and overcame it by telling the devil, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Living God’s Word and obeying it gives us access to God’s rewards, because His Word is life to us, and we are always and forever better off when we trust and obey God’s Word.
Heavenly Father has more concern for our care than we do. In turn, He asks us to be more concerned about His Will than we do about anything else. He is our sufficiency. He will take care of all our needs.
Jesus Christ provided a way for us to get out of sin so we can escape the consequences of it. He paid the ultimate price of dying on the cross for our transgressions. When we know this in the deepest part of our hearts, we will know that steering clear of sin is the way to win and not lose. Losing is falling for the devil’s tricks and temptations. Think about your decisions and choices long and hard. Always pray to God and ask for direction. Be confident that if you follow the pathway that Jesus Christ has given us, it will lead you to a marriage of peace, joy, unity, longevity, and love. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
“God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.