The process of going from single to engaged, and then married, will require a kind of preparation that many will not undertake. There are the practical things like learning to share your time and learning to do those things that your future hubby may not be able to do. And yes, that might include the proverbial housewife duties like cooking and cleaning, but it could also mean learning completely different and other useful skills that will help our future marriage. When it comes to be being the blessing God commands us to be, we shouldn’t leave any stone unturned. Preparing to share our lives with another person is in truth a ministry. Therefore, we have no other choice but to recognize that spiritual preparation for marriage is going to be the most important aspect of bringing our desire into fruition.
Hebrews 11:1(ESV) tells us, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” It takes a ready made-up heart and mind to be in a posture of faith, and to believe with conviction that God will give you the thing you’ve desired. A posture of faith requires you to know what you want. Many women will complain that they’ve been praying for years to cross paths with their future husbands, but when you ask them what they’ve done to prepare for this ministry, in many instances you get nothing but the sound of crickets. They haven’t backed their faith with works. When this is the case, it’s what we don’t say that speaks the loudest. When we don’t back our faith with the right kind of works, it speaks to the reality that marriage isn’t the priority in our lives that we think, but rather, our comfort zone is. It speaks to the reality that we haven’t asked Heavenly Father what is required, and therefore, we may not have placed ourselves in a position of hearing and heeding what He says.
There is no way to get around the reality that marriage will require us to give up certain things and to acquire new things. The assumption that you will be as comfortable as you’ve always been and that you can keep all the things you have presently is incorrect. Some of the things that we are holding in our heads and hearts this very moment is not conducive to marriage and family. These thoughts, feelings, and attitudes will have to be dismantled, and we, ourselves, determine the speed and ease of the dismantling process.
Our Heavenly Father does not like waste. There is no such thing as waste in heaven’s economy. In the Old Testament, when God rained manna from heaven to feed the children of Israel, some of them took more than they needed for themselves and their families. Exodus 16:18(NLT) tells us, “But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.” This verse allows us to see the systematic and prudent order God uses to bless us. We are blessed to such an extent that we make use of the blessing. There is enough for us and plenty to share, and the emphasis should be placed on the sharing.
When we’re getting ready for life with two instead of one, sometimes steps are necessary to de-clutter our lives in certain ways. Habits of excess in some respects must be squashed. Many singles are wasteful with the resources that God has blessed them with. They have splurged on themselves and in their closets, there are way too many clothes, shoes, or other materiality they’ve collected. They have never stopped to think that not only does stuff take up room in our closets, but it takes up space in our hearts and minds. To expect more when our arms are already full is an unrealistic expectation.
The wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9(NLT) teaches us, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” This describes partnership. The goal is that two help each other to succeed, and their most important goal must be to honor God with their marriage, family, and individual lives. Ecclesiastes 4:10(NIV) goes on to advise that “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” As a single person that is desiring to be married, this is where you always want to be; you want your faith in Jesus Christ at such a level that if your partner falls for any reason, you can believe and trust God for deliverance, and you will not waver in your conviction to do so. Only God knows the degree to which you must crucify some of the indulgences, habits, and comforts you currently enjoy, but it is extremely wise to pray for His wisdom about this as a single believer. Your obedience to follow His guidance and instruction in this area will demonstrate your faith, and it will help you in spiritually preparing for the kind of marriage God desires you to have. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
“Getting Ready for Two”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.