As parents, we have huge responsibilities, and one of them is to be an example for our children. This can be a very delicate walk especially when you are a single parent. When our relationships with the children’s father ends, for some of us, it is a devastating event. Our hearts are broken, we’re nervous about the future, and we’re also anxious about being single again. You might feel like a pile of mush on the inside, but you know your children are watching. You recognize that letting them see you at your most vulnerable might cause them to feel insecure and afraid as well. So, you try to put on a strong front because you want them to know that mommy is fine, so they are fine.
It is not uncommon for the mother to be the parent that the child looks to for nurturing. When you’re dealing with your own wounds and worries, this may add to the pressure you might already be experiencing. You might feel that no one is there to nurture you and take care of your broken heart. Yet, there are things you need to handle, and in some instances, a single mother may feel she has to be both mother and father to her kids.
1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) says, ”Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” We don’t belong to ourselves; we belong to God. He owns our entire lives, and He wanted us to know this so that we understand our relationship with Him. He is our Father, and He wants us to come to Him and lean on Him for everything that we need. He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT), “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” As parents, especially single parents, we desperately need comfort and direction. We must seek God in all that we do, because He is able and willing to take care of all our needs.
2Corinthians 1:3-4(NLT) says, “3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” This verse reveals the heart of God towards us. It tells us how He expects us to handle the challenges of our own personal pain, as well as the challenges of parenthood. We’re to give our burdens to Him in faith, for He is merciful, and He is the Source of ALL comfort. He knows that as parents, we must provide comfort and instill confidence in our children. He wants us to know that He will give us all we need through His Holy Spirit. The Spirit will do a work within us if we are faithful to pray and trust God. Then, we will not have to pretend to be strong. Through Him, we will be really strong. We will pass on to our children the strength, courage, and confidence that comes from God.
Our children belong to God. He knows their needs, and He knows how to take care of them far better than we do. Our responsibility as believing parents is to pray continually that God will guide us in His wisdom, and that He will guide our children as well. God also holds us responsible for teaching our children His Word and upholding the standard of it before them. As single parents, dating for us is an area where we must be very sensitive to our children’s needs. They must be our number one concern when it comes to our decisions and choices surrounding dating.
As young singles, going out and having fun on a regular basis is part of the package, but when we have children, we have greater responsibilities. We can’t think selfishly and pursue the things we want to do without careful thought and prayer. Our children must be a huge part of how we conduct ourselves and make decisions about dating. The Lord would not be pleased with us having a revolving door of men around our children. It’s not a good plan for a single person without children and doing so as a single person with children can cause issues in their emotional well-being and development.
Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) tells us, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Whether single or married, as parents we must let the Lord guide us totally, especially when it comes to dating. Again, our children don’t belong to us, they belong to Him, and He has entrusted us with the responsibility of parenting them. It is a tremendous gift, and we must trust that as we commit ourselves to God through Christ, He will help us make the best decisions for our children and for ourselves. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Our Children Belong to God”, written by KLizzie, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.