So many people in the world believe that love is an uncontrollable feeling and that we don’t have the ability to choose who we fall in love with. They believe that when you meet the right person, your heart will let you know. The reality is that God created us in His own image. He created us to be three-part beings, human-spirit, human-soul, and human-body. Without all three of these, we’re not human, but something else. Heavenly Father’s desire is that we bring all three parts of us under the submission of Jesus Christ through His Holy Spirit, and that we align our human-will with His Will. He tells us in Ephesians 5:1 to imitate His nature in all we do, because we are His children. Do all human beings do this? Absolutely not. Most don’t. So, if God did not automatically program us to fall uncontrollably in love with Him so we’d do all He has commanded us to do, then why would we think this is the case for a mere human being?
Jesus Christ is our example, and there was never a time when he walked the face of this earth that he lost control of his emotions. Jesus Christ walked by faith, and this is what God commands us to do in every area of our lives. We walk by faith and not by sight. Yes, romance is a very wonderful thing, and we should be so thankful that Heavenly Father has given it to us, but He’s also given us the gift of free-will. Just as we choose whether or not we’ll follow God’s Word and Will, we get to choose how we feel about a person, place or thing at any given moment. We choose the people we will adore and those we won’t adore, and we do this without pressure.
One of the reasons it is important to understand this aspect of free-will when it comes to our emotions and relationships is so that we will not abandon our responsibility to exercise our Christ authority and power wisely. It’s so we’ll understand God’s wisdom of Proverbs 4:23, which tells us to guard our hearts above all else, because our heart determines the direction of our lives. The wisdom Heavenly Father has laid out is everything we need to know about being cautious, so we don’t leap before we have a good look and check-in with Him.
You might meet someone that appeals very strongly to you physically. You find him attractive, and he may even move you soulfully. Typically, when this happens, we check this off as compatibility, but what about spiritually? Even though he checks off some of the boxes, do you seek the Lord before you assume that he’s the one? Do you make an emotional investment in this person before you’ve received an ‘all clear’ from Heavenly Father?
Many of us do in fact emotionally invest in men because of the way they initially make us feel. Something about them resonates, and it brings out a side of us that we like. Wisdom begs us to put this in proper perspective. Many of us are wounded beyond belief because we let our hearts take the lead when we should have guarded them and allowed God that space. Some women were in relationships where the other person didn’t appreciate them, and quite frankly, this person didn’t know how to do this. We fall in love with men who check some of our boxes, but we failed to check-in with Heavenly Father. Often, these situations end in heartbreak.
Sometimes the man either didn’t fall in love with us or fell out of love with us. Whatever the case, we can clearly see from our past failed relationships that a person can fall out of love as quickly and easily as they can fall in love. And this kind of ‘falling in-and-out’ love doesn’t have stickability, only a Christ-kind of love does. Galatians 5:22-23(NLT) teaches us, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, we have no other choice but to conclude that self-control is a spiritually mature aspect of loving like Jesus Christ.
Love is a choice. It is the most profound commitment that any of us can make. God tells us to guard our hearts so that we can make smart choices and decisions that are led by Him through the Lord Jesus Christ. God knows our needs, and He is willing and able to take care of them. The Lord wants us to have a beautiful relationship with one of His Kingdom treasures, but we shouldn’t seek to lose ourselves in this person. We shouldn’t try to make this person our everything, because they are not equipped to be our everything. In Hebrews 12:1-2, God tells us to make running the race He has set before us the focus of our attention. And we accomplish this by keeping our eyes locked on Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of our faith. When this is our commitment, we’ll love through him and draw the blessing of marriage into our lives. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Kind of Love that Has Stickability” written by Reverend Fran Mack, edited by Kim Times, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!