Before the “I Do”

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Why do two people decide to get married? The individuals that choose to say, “I Do”, do so because they believe they’ve met someone they don’t want to live without. Saying those two little words is the first declaration they both make, and it is the easiest part of marriage. But the action behind the declaration to spend the rest of their lives together is not always going to be easy. This is a reality every single person that desires marriage should know. There are extreme highs of marital bliss, but there is also sacrifice, emotional lows, and misunderstandings that can be gut-wrenching. As single believers, our responsibility is to increase our faith in God before we get married, so that we’re confident that trusting Him will cause us to overcome any obstacle or adversity our marriages endure.

In this sacred union, we’ll see a side of our spouses that we had no clue about before the “I do” took place. As two people grow together, they learn about each other’s weaknesses, sore spots, and triggers. Our spouses learn how to push our buttons, and if we’re not spiritually mature, we might respond or react in ways that surprises us. We go low, they go lower, and before you know it, a disagreement turns into an argument that takes both spouses to the depths of anger and belligerence. One is too many of these kinds of disagreements, and a few of them can irreparably damage a union. We must always remember that even though we can apologize to one another, once hurtful words are spoken, we can’t take them back. Sometimes the marriage is never the same.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us that a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. That’s exactly the kind of strength we should all desire in a marriage.  God created relationships, and He has given us families to help us become stronger. It’s why the husband and wife make such a dynamic team. When they have both been groomed in God’s Word to trust Heavenly Father with all their hearts, together with Him, they become this triple-braided cord.

1 John 3:18(NLT) tells us, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.”  Many Christians make the choice to rush into relationships and marriage because they want to be intimate with one another. This will not provide the strong foundation that God has ordained. The two of them haven’t taken the time to see the truth in each other’s actions, and this can lead to devastating disappointments. We must be willing to spend time in prayer over our desires, asking God how we should best prepare for what He has in store. And when we meet someone new, we must take the time to know who they are, and if we will be diligent in prayer and patience, the Father will reveal this to us.

Getting to know each other’s nuisances and idiosyncrasies is not a waste of time. It’s an opportunity for you to gain knowledge and establish a true friendship before even thinking about saying “I do”.  Some have gone so far outside of God’s standard, that being patient in prayer sounds foreign and old-fashioned to them. We will cheat ourselves every time if we opt to satisfy fleshly desires over the spiritual strength and endurance God wants us to have. He will always want us to have the best and doing things His way guarantees it.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Before the ‘I Do”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

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