Proverbs 27:17(NLT)
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
Charlotte, a young woman I know, shared with me that she felt disappointed by something one of her close friends from high school has done. Both in their twenties now, Charlotte’s friend, Helena, has become close with a young woman that is known for behaviors and attitudes that are morally questionable. Since Helena has been spending more time with this other person, Charlotte’s and Helena’s friendship has been strained. It caused a rift between the two and they didn’t communicate for months. One day recently, they happened to bump into each other and had the chance to discuss why they were no longer as close as they used to be. The air was cleared, and they hugged but Charlotte believes the close sisterhood they once shared is no longer there.
Proverbs 18:19(NLT) states, “An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” Friendships are normally cultivated between people that share things in common. They see each other as individuals they can count on and are going to be in each other’s corners when life gets tough. As we grow, we learn that many people who might call themselves our friends are more interested in taking than giving, so to find a true friend is rare. So, as Proverbs 18:19 reminds us, when we are blessed to find a good friend, these connections must be treasured and nurtured, because once lost, they can be very challenging to regain.
Real friendship allows you the freedom to be honest with one another, even when you think the other person may not like what you’re going to say. This is important especially when you see your friend behaving in a way that could be potentially harmful to their lives. These are the kinds of conversations and discussions that require prayer. We need the help of the Holy Spirit. He will give us the words to speak, and he will also create the space where our words will be received and heard.
In 1Chronicles 29:17(KJV), King David said, “I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there.” Only God knows what is in our hearts and in the heart of another individual. Sometimes our friends go through things that we are not aware of. We don’t know what they are grappling with in their minds and hearts. They may have weaknesses that we don’t know about, and these can make them susceptible to temptation. In cases like these, we should remember Proverbs 27:17 which tells us that friends can sharpen one another spiritually, but we must be motivated out of a heart of love and compassion, and not judgment.
A close friendship is a gift, and trust and loyalty are essential for it to last. Trust and loyalty from both people are required for the endurance of any quality relationship, and we can see this in passages like the one found in Genesis 18:17-23(NLT). In this record, God allows us to hear the conversation He has with the Godhead about the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah. There is no doubt that God wanted us to see an example of His loyalty to those that He chooses, and He wants us to witness the trust He places in them. The passage states: “17 Should I hide my plan from Abraham?” the LORD asked. 18 “For Abraham will certainly become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. 19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.” 20 So the LORD told Abraham, “I have heard a great outcry from Sodom and Gomorrah, because their sin is so flagrant.”
God shared His plans with Abraham because of the relationship they shared. It was one of intimacy, loyalty, and trust. We should have no doubt that this is the kind of relationship God desires with each of us. We must also be clear that He has set the standard for the relationships we should have with one another.
Our Heavenly Father wants us to have healthy and loving relationships. He wants us to represent Christ so that we can be a blessing to others, and they can be a blessing to us, but sometimes our friendships do not turn as we hope. There are instances where friends decide they no longer wish to journey forward with us in the things of God. When this occurs, we must keep them in our prayers, but not allow their decision to impact what the Lord is doing in our lives.
Being a good friend also involves the wisdom to discern when a person needs to go their own way, because this is also a part of life as well. As we pray for the other person, we must not hold grudges or resent that person’s decisions and choices. God is faithful, and He will allow us to cross paths with others who are more likeminded in Christ. Our pleasure and privilege is to forgive, be generous and kind, and to be thankful for our friendships, however long they last. And most importantly, we can be confident that we have the capacity to be a good friend to others, because our heart is to please God and to let His love shine as we live for Christ.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“A Close Friendship Is A Gift”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!