In a conversation recently, a man confided to me that he and his wife will probably go their separate ways once their youngest daughter goes off to college, which will be in the fall of this year. “I still love my wife, but I can’t remember the last time I held her hand or even kissed her.” He said.
Marriage is God’s institution. Most do not view it this way, but that has no bearing on the truth. God ordained marriage, and it teaches us about unity and prepares us as the Bride of Christ. By this we can be assured that marriage was meant to be, and very definitely can be, as beautiful and fulfilling as God ordained it to be.
Most people that get married, or those that have a deep desire to marry, don’t go into the commitment with the thought that they won’t remain committed. They approach marriage with the expectation that their feelings and emotions at the time of their wedding will deepen, and that their feelings for one another will sustain them through all obstacles. This is a reality that many of us know can and will change at the blink of an eye. Feelings come and go, but the commitment to love God’s way should remain in our hearts during all life’s challenges. God’s love will always be the glue in our relationships, and it will never let us down if we lean upon it.
A good friend gave me some good advice once, “Keep God at the root of your union, love on each other as much as possible, and don’t sweat the small stuff.” People’s perception, assumptions, and opinions about marriage are very different, even within the Christian community. This can make offering marital advice to men and women challenging at times, but my friend’s advice is the simple truth, and the truth never fails. It will always prove itself no matter what a person believes or thinks.
Loving God’s way isn’t just an emotion or feeling, it’s a state of being that yields abiding commitment and loyalty, and the bottom line is that at least one spouse must know this. One of the spouses in a marital union must have unwavering faith in God. In other words, this spouse must believe rightly when it comes to God’s promises in His Word.
1Corinthians 13:4-5 teaches us that the love of God is patient and kind. When God’s love is in our hearts, we’re not given to jealousy, arrogance, or pride. We won’t allow those toxins to rule us. God’s love doesn’t demand its own way, and it doesn’t get irritable when things don’t work out as planned. Loving His way means that we don’t keep a record of our spouse’s wrongs, but we are forgiving of one another’s faults.
God tells us that this kind of love never fails. Marriage is ultimately the proof of whether or not we believe this truth. Marriage is the theater where our devotion to God and our surrender to Him plays out, because our spouse will be a mirror of our commitment to Heavenly Father. If no one in the marriage is prepared spiritually to live out God’s truth and Word to this extent, their marital foundation isn’t as strong as God intends it to be. But this is a condition that can and should be improved through a greater commitment to the example of Christ.
Ephesians 5:33(NLT) “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” God has made this so plain and simple. We complicate things with our opinions and assumptions, but God just cuts through all the confusion and arrogance and tells us like it is. God’s love is the most powerful reality that we could ever imagine. His love creates, produces, and changes people and things for the better. Nothing compares to His love and when we keep it at the root of our marriages, they can’t help but to become the fulfilling unions we desire. Heavenly Father demands that we have faith in this.
1John 4:16-17(NLT) declares, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.” Our marriages provide the awesome opportunity to live through God’s love and to see this love reflected back to us. A person will never be at a disadvantage for choosing God’s love, because God’s love always wins. 1John 4:17 assures us that the more we practice His love, the more our love grows perfect. This is what we should be looking for in marriage, an opportunity to grow in God’s love and to witness how He blesses us when we’re committed to live in His truth and help someone else do the same. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Keep God’s Love at the Root of Your Union”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.