John 4:16-18(ESV)
“16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’;18 for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”
God’s purpose for marriage is the context behind the Words of Jesus Christ in the passage of John 4:16-18. He spoke these words to a Samaritan woman that was drawing water from a well. She had violated God’s standard and purpose for marriage, and therefore, was sinning against Him. This woman had developed a pattern of moving from one intimate relationship to another, and she did so without considering whether or not this pleased God. Jesus Christ stepped into her life on this day and interrupted her pattern. He spoke the truth about what she had been doing behind closed doors. In this instance, this woman was faced with a choice. She could totally dismiss the truth Jesus Christ spoke, or she could allow those walls around her heart to come tumbling down so she could be transformed by his truth. This choice is before each of us today.
People move from person to person in relationships because they are seeking something. They expect that this person will be able to fill the void in their hearts. When this doesn’t happen and they become disappointed that the individual couldn’t make them whole, they move on to the next. Many of us never take a closer look at this. We choose not to be careful observers of ourselves, so we fail to look at the relationship patterns we’ve developed. We won’t face the reality that many of these patterns sabotage our efforts to partner in a healthy way.
Life is often like a march. Anyone that has ever been in military service or in a marching band understands the importance of a cadence, which is a march movement that is rhythmically in sync. A failure to start off on the right foot in a cadence can keep a person out of sync for the duration of a march or performance; and many times, this person never realizes it. This is what wrong thinking can do for us in relationships. Wrong thinking and believing causes us to start out on the wrong foot and never quite get the cadence right.
Marriage is God’s institution, and He is the One to set the standards. Our responsibility is to follow those standards, and this is the least that we can do for the gift of marriage that He’s given us. His standard is that marriage solidifies increase and expansion of His love and nature. He ordained that Godly mothers and fathers would raise Godly children, and then those children would continue to share and increase through the love of Christ. Now, it is entirely possible that we will choose not to live up to God’s standards. In fact, most of us have not, but we ought to be doing everything we possibly can to abide by them. None of us can stand before Him and make excuses, because God has empowered us through Jesus Christ. He has given us His Holy Spirit, and because of this, we can be loving men and women who put God first in our lives and marriages, and then walk together in Christ and in agreement with one another.
We have to keep it real. The number of single Christian women is rising, and times are becoming more and more perilous. These are external factors that should have no bearing whatsoever on those that are in Christ and increasing their faith in him. “I know this isn’t God’s Will for me to still be single!” Many born-again sisters are realizing this, because it is absolutely true. God desires a good marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. He has a plan for our marital union. But know this, in order to follow God’s plan, you can’t march to your own cadence, you must follow His.
To start out on the right foot, you must know with all that you are that God’s standard has not diminished or changed. It is the same today as it was 7000 years ago, and it can never be challenged. We may not meet His standard, but we must never think that He isn’t fully committed to it, and therefore, doesn’t require you to be committed to it as well. If there’s even a hint in our minds and hearts that we can call the shots in marriage and do things our way, this will prevent our faith from maturing. It will keep marriage at bay.
Hosea 14:9 (NLT) tells us, “Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.” We must demonstrate the humility that is necessary for us to grow and change. We simply cannot continue to do the same things and expect different results. God’s way works! This is the truth that must guide our efforts to partner.
The woman by the well that Jesus Christ ministered to in John 4:16-18 had no husband, but it was not because God didn’t bless her, it was because she had denied God’s truth. We cannot allow this to be said of us. Our approach and patterns of behavior regarding relationships must come into agreement with those God has set in His Word. Without this, we are outside the boundaries of His truth, and therefore outside the perimeters of His blessings. We can change this if we seek God’s help and begin to march to a different cadence. It’s the cadence of the example that Christ has set for us all. This will transform our lives and make us spiritually mature women with husbands who honor God just as we do. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“I Have No Husband” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.