If you’re a single woman that has been praying to find the person that God has ordained to walk with you in life, it’s not uncommon that the wait is longer than you expected. There’s a distance that spans where you are at this very moment and the marriage you are praying to have. One of the things that we must understand is that there is a reason for this distance. There’s a reason why a bit of times lapses between our prayers to meet the man and actually meeting him. It’s not because God is withholding the blessing of marriage, and it isn’t because we are being punished for some reason. The wait is almost always about our faith and level of spiritual preparation for what we’ve longed to receive.
Do you know who you are alone?
Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. This means that in order to operate by faith, we must listen to and digest or take in the Word of God that is being read, taught, or preached. God commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. This means that we must change the way we think. It’s a mistake to think we can do this a time or two and be finished. No. We must constantly hear the Word of faith and renew our minds to it every day. Our thoughts, attitudes, and feelings need to line up with the example of Jesus Christ, and this is a process that will take our entire lives.
Most of us have our own ideas about who we are. We say to others, “This is who I am, and you must accept it or reject it, but I’m not changing for anyone.” Although that may sound like a self-affirming declaration, it can be a very dangerous one to make. God wants us to be familiar with ourselves, but we are not self-made, we are God-made, and this is the knowledge that must be anchored in our hearts. You and I don’t have the power or ability to make an identity. Our Heavenly Father has already taken care of this. He tells us that Jesus Christ is our blueprint. The personhood of Christ is our identity, and we must be intimately familiar with the truth of who we are in him.
Colossians 3:1-5(NLT) says, “1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3 For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” Very often our misunderstanding about our identity in Christ prolongs the blessing because if we don’t know who we are or what we’re supposed to be doing, we can’t increase in faith.
Many singles don’t like alone time with themselves, and this is mostly because they’ve not acknowledged the truth that when we are in Christ, we are never alone. God is always with us, and we have His Spirit inside us. So, when we’re the only person in the room, make no mistake about it, that room is filled! Our lives are hidden in Christ and becoming more and more like him so that our inner person matches his love is the reality that should occupy our minds and hearts continually.
Do you believe you’re worthy to be loved?
When we don’t believe we’re worthy to be loved, we are denying our Christ identity. Love is not given because of how we look on the outside. Love is not about our curves or lack thereof, and it’s not received because we have lots of money in the bank. It doesn’t matter how many degrees we have or what kind of car we drive, none of these things are strong enough to anchor real and abiding love. 1John 4:7-8(NLT) declares, “7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” It is not possible to truly receive or give love unless the love of God is present. Jesus Christ said in John 12:32(NLT), “And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.” His sacrifice, when he was lifted up on the cross and gave his life for our sins, was the greatest act of pure love, and this sacrificial act of love is what draws and binds people together.
We are not loved because of our physicality, and if you are thinking this way, you must relinquish your flesh-minded thoughts and continue to renew your mind to God’s Word. We are loved because of the love of Christ in our hearts. That love is the most powerful reality that we will ever witness, and it is transforming us from the inside out. That’s the power that draws our husbands to us, and sometimes, we still have a bit of work to do to convince ourselves of this. We think our worthiness comes from looks or clothes and shoes. We think it comes from sounding intelligent or from being savvy or impressive, but worthiness comes from God.
He deemed us worthy when He sent His only begotten Son to the earth to be a sacrifice for our sins. It should have been us on the cross, but Jesus took our place. When he died, our old life died with him. When he got up from the grave with all power in his hands, we got up too! We must stop clinging to the old way we used to operate. That’s not going to work. It’s all about the love of Christ in our hearts and how we must allow it to govern our existences. No other human being can complete us. No other human being can fill up our empty spaces. It’s walking in God’s love and leaning totally on it that magnetizes His blessings to us, and all we need to do to see this is to make the conscious choice to live everyday in, by, with, and through His love.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Be Familiar with Yourself”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and K. Stephens for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!