Ephesians 5:33(NLT)
“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Marriage is so meaningful to us because God has made it all about His love. Through spouses, God provides for us. He takes care of our hearts and the need we have for companionship. Genesis 2:18(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” We cannot neglect or ignore the reality that it was God who said that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. It was His Will to make companionship necessary for the well-being of humanity. Eve, the first woman, was not an afterthought. God did not suddenly decide that her being was necessary. Both man and woman—male and female were always His plan. Even before He established the foundation of the world, He knew that He wanted a family, and He knew that through their union, Adam and Eve would produce that family. So, we must always remember that marriage is the institution God ordained to preserve the holiness and the sanctity of the oneness between men and women.
Question 1
Understanding that marriage is God’s institution and that it fulfills His purpose in the earth should prompt us to ask if we are desiring to get married for the right reasons. The wrong reasons to want to get married all have their root in selfishness. There can be no doubt in our minds that question 1, (if we’re marrying for the right reasons) will require us to be brutally honest, and this brutal honesty will press us to look at our past handling of relationships with men.
Many of us have been guilty of promiscuous behavior. We gave our bodies to men that were not our husbands, and some of us did it on the regular. Our Heavenly Father is not in heaven holding this against us, but if we have not repented and sought God’s forgiveness, the enemy is blocking us from moving forward.
We were selfish in our sinful behavior. We were seeking our own agendas of holding on to the man and satisfying our own fleshly pleasures. Running from this truth will only continue to hold us back. As women of faith who have a heart to share the fullness of marriage with the man God has ordained for that purpose, we must hear what God is saying to us. His Son had to die in order to cleanse our sins by his blood, and we cannot continue to dishonor God. We can’t repeatedly do the things that displease Him and expect to be rewarded. In the Book of Revelation, in his letters to the churches, Jesus Christ would end them by saying that anyone with ears must listen and understand what the Spirit is saying. He is telling us we must open our ears and hear the truth.
Question 2
Are you spiritually, emotionally, and mentally mature enough for marriage? If so, how do you know? There’s a saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” This saying holds tremendous wisdom. When we are ready to hear the truth, we will open our ears, and someone will speak the truth to us. By the same token, when we are spiritually, emotionally, and mentally mature enough to handle marriage, the spouse will show up.
For many of us, this is a tough pill to swallow because all of us think we’re ready. We think we haven’t met the spouse because God isn’t cooperating with our desires. That simply isn’t true. God’s creative perfection and laws were woven in the universe long before any of us came on the scene. He has designed things in such a way that when our faith is in the right place spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, manifestation does its thing! God doesn’t miss, we do. So, if the reality is that we’re not yet ready to handle the fullness of marriage, it’s time to increase our faith in God and pray that He will help us to prepare. He will do a work within us through His Holy Spirit, but we must be willing and ready to hear and accept the truth.
Question 3
Marriage is not always romantic. Are you expecting it to be? Marriage can be the hardest work we’ve ever encountered, and if we are not prepared to faith our way through some of the challenges, we might see divorce as an easy out. God wants marriage to be permanent. Some of us can’t imagine being sold-out in our commitment to honor God, and because of this, we can’t imagine a lifetime of being committed to His institution of marriage. We must be confident that there’s no problem we will face that cannot be solved by the Lord Jesus Christ, and we must understand that God expects marriage to be a lifetime commitment.
In the beginning of a marriage, there might be an adjustment period, and there might also be problems and disagreements. Two people coming together can be difficult at first because none of us are perfect. God made some differences between men and women standard with our packaging. In some cases, we’ll need to stretch in every area to understand one another, and as we do, we will grow in the love of Christ which deepens and holds our union together.
1Peter 4:8(ESV) says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Some men will demand a certain kind of respect from their wives before anything else, but their definition of respect is sometimes a little different from God’s. God’s definition of respect is steeped in love, understanding, and compassion. On the other side, some women want to be showered with gifts and pampered when they haven’t done much of anything to deserve those things. We need to understand that marriage is a cycle of both giving and receiving. The bottom line is that both need to adjust their expectations when it comes to the other. Both spouses need to understand that marriage can be as beautiful and fulfilling as God ordained it to be. It’s full, loving, and robust, but it is always going to be our responsibility to make and keep it that way.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Fullness of Marriage”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.