Josephine’s biological parents were both alcoholics—her mother frequently in and out of rehab, and her father unable to keep a job for more than a month or two. Her grandmother took her in, raising her alongside her two cousins. Despite the abundant love Josephine’s grandmother provided, she always felt an emptiness from the absence of her parents that seemed impossible to fill. Facing such profound disappointment is a significant challenge, yet it reflects a broader truth: all of us enter this world with a sense of something missing, a void that is often intense and deeply felt.
Our biological parents are often seen as the constant thread in our lives, the foundation we rely on from infancy. However, when we accept the Lord Jesus Christ into our hearts and make Him the head of our lives, a profound transformation begins. As Romans 12:2 (NLT) instructs, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Our minds must be renewed, and we discover that many of our old thoughts and attitudes need to be reshaped.
Ephesians 4:22-24 (NLT) further guides us, saying, “Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” We are called to adopt a new way of thinking and behaving, one that mirrors the example of Christ. As we walk in the truth of our authentic identity—not merely as physical beings but as spiritual children of our Heavenly Father—we must release the things we once clung to so tightly. This renewal is essential for living fully in the grace and truth of our sonship as the spiritual children of our Heavenly Father.
We can get stuck in regret and disappointment, constantly focused on what we’ve lost or never had. Our minds keep replaying fresh reminders of this pain because we are telling them something has gone terribly wrong. By its very nature, the mind seeks to correct this wrong for us, but as spiritual beings, we must understand that the mind must be submitted to Christ. It must be submitted to his thoughts and guided to accept his resolution, renewal, and restoration.
As 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NLT) says, “We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” It’s crucial that our thoughts follow Christ’s path of resolution, renewal, and restoration instead of just trying to fix things on our own. Romans 8:6 (NLT) puts it simply: “So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” By letting Christ guide our minds, we can move past the pain and find true healing and peace.
Thoughts about marriage can often reflect this sense of missing something crucial, similar to what Josephine experienced. We may convince ourselves that we are incomplete or only half of a whole. This belief can leave us feeling as though we need a relationship to be truly fulfilled, rather than recognizing that our wholeness comes from our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ.
In reality, our sense of completeness and fulfillment should come from knowing our true identity in Christ. As Colossians 2:10 (NLT) reminds us, “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” Finding our worth and wholeness in Him shifts our focus from seeking validation through external relationships to understanding that we are fully complete in our spiritual union with God through Christ. Jesus himself emphasized this unity in John 17:21 (NLT), where he prayed, “I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one.” We are one with God through salvation, and this makes us complete. When we embrace this truth, we free ourselves from the need to look for completion elsewhere and begin to experience genuine contentment and the profound peace that comes from our relationship with God.
It is from God’s never-ending and overflowing well of life, love, power, strength, and grace that we come to the table, bringing our A-game. Drawing from Him, the Source of all goodness, equips us fully with the confidence and endurance to be a spouse. If we enter a relationship believing we are only half complete or lacking, we bring with us remnants of that emptiness and loneliness. Nothing new can last that way. True fulfillment and stability in relationships come from recognizing and embracing our wholeness in Christ. This is the mind and heart that allows us to participate fully in partnership with God as He blesses our relationships in the unity of Christ. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“In Search of the Other Half that Makes You Whole” written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.