When you meet someone new who seems compatible, it’s very exciting. You might think that your prayers have been answered and find your perspective shifting from being lonely and sad to feeling optimistic and hopeful. Over the past several months, you’ve invested quality time praying often, studying the scriptures and meditating on God’s Word, preparing spiritually for this season in your life. With this new relationship, things are going well, and a proposal doesn’t seem to be too far down the road. You’ve wanted this for so long, yet underneath it all is a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right.
It’s surprising that this uneasy feeling is hanging around when you expected so much happiness, but it isn’t a time to sink; it’s time to dive deeper and get real with God. Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT) tells us, “6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” We must recognize that newness requires clarity, and sometimes this means pausing to seek God’s wisdom, and remembering that we desperately need to be guided.
Underestimating the requirements
Our Lord and Savior shared a powerful truth in Luke 12:48(NLT), “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” All of us should praise and thank God daily that He’s given us this spectacular piece of wisdom through Christ. It’s fundamental to understanding how life works, and it should be the clay that forms our expectations. Meeting someone new is not a time to relax and take a break. We shouldn’t think we’re going to breeze through. We might not admit it to ourselves, but our tendency is to expect things to unfold effortlessly.
Jesus reminds us that with greater blessings come greater responsibilities and commitments. Increased prayer, studying and meditating on the scriptures, and all the practices we’ve exercised to get closer to God when we were single must not only be maintained, but continually increased, especially when someone new comes into our lives.
Leaving God out
Sometimes, the underlying discomfort stems from leaving God out of key aspects of our new relationship. We forget that we are where we are because of Him, and that we need to continue to cling to the standards of His Word. When we don’t actively seek His wisdom or rely on His guidance, we miss important red flags as well as the revelation from Him that can help us navigate this significant part of our lives.
In Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), we’re reminded to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” By not consulting God and not leaning on His guidance, we might inadvertently place our trust solely in our own judgments and feelings, which can lead to uncertainty and unease.
Embracing God’s presence means integrating Him into every aspect of our lives by allowing His influence to shape and direct our thoughts, actions, and relationships. It means living with a continuous awareness of God’s constant presence and relying on Him for strength, wisdom, and guidance. This must be our lifestyle, so that welcoming another person into our lives fits seamlessly with our devotion and reverence for our Creator. In our relationships, we need to regularly seek the Father’s insight and direction, ensuring that our decisions align with His Will. We must also remember that it’s our responsibility to conduct ourselves in a manner that pleases God. We’re to demonstrate Christ-like love and character in the life of someone new as we navigate the dynamics of a new relationship with them.
Insecurities might be derailing us
Jeremiah 17:5 (NIV) warns: “This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD.” This verse serves as a reminder to keep our focus on God rather than on human approval or strength. The teaching of Jesus Christ in Matthew 6:33 (NLT) directs us to “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” As believers, we are called to consistently place God at the center of our lives, and this commitment must remain steadfast even when someone new enters the picture.
In new relationships, it can be easy to shift our focus entirely onto the other person, sometimes even prioritizing their desires over God’s Will. Our insecurities can derail the relationship, pushing us to compromise our commitment to God’s standards just to hold on to the companionship we’re afraid of losing. This struggle really shows why it is crucial to remain grounded in our faith. We need to make sure our choices and actions reflect our commitment to God’s Word and are not driven by our fears or insecurities.
Ephesians 5:17 (NLT) tells us, “Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” As believers that are spiritually mature enough to handle marriage, we must move beyond a superficial understanding and actively seek a deep comprehension of God’s Will for their lives. We must live in tune with His purpose and make choices that reflect His wisdom.
God wants us to be happy and blessed, and Jesus Christ tells us in John 10:10 that He’s made a more than abundant life available to us. We can experience a wonderful life and a fulfilling marriage, but it must be achieved through the discipline and wisdom of God’s Word. By aligning our lives and relationships with His guidance, we invite His blessings and ensure that our journey through life and marriage is rooted in faith and purpose. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
“Understand What God Wants You to Do” written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.