Embodying the Qualities You Desire

Many of us are concerned about the increasing number of Christian women that are single but greatly desire marriage. This trend prompts us to reflect on what might be contributing to the situation. We could probably come up with a dozen possible explanations, and they might include a scarcity of suitable Christian men, issues with women being perceived as overly controlling, or men being seen as self-centered, among others. There can be many other social factors at play too, but using a secular lens isn’t going to help us zoom into the problem or the solution.

We are encouraged in Colossians 3:2 (NIV) to “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” This verse reminds us to focus on spiritual values and Kingdom perspectives rather than getting bogged down by temporary, worldly concerns. When we focus too much on statistics or trends, we risk shifting our focus away from God.

Revelation 1:8 (NLT) reminds us, He is “the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.” God is present in every moment, and His sovereignty is absolute and timeless, transcending every circumstance. He is in control of all things and has the final authority over every aspect of our lives. By keeping our focus on Him and not leaning on our own understanding, we can capture our dreams and fulfill His purpose for our lives.

Sometimes, we underestimate just how focused on God we need to be in order to build our faith towards marriage while also growing in His love. Romans 12:1 (NIV) tells us, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” God doesn’t just want a small section of our lives; He wants it all. By offering ourselves completely to Him, we open ourselves up to His transformative power, allowing His nature and righteousness to shape our actions and relationships.

In practical terms, embodying the qualities we desire means weaving our spiritual focus into our everyday actions. For example, if we desire our future partners to be compassionate, loving, and caring, exhibiting those qualities daily should be a natural way of life for us. In other words, to cultivate patience, kindness, or understanding, we need to actively practice these traits in our interactions with others. Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) tells us, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” We must be prepared for the reality that life will challenge us to cultivate the level of fruit necessary for marriage. This is the way God designed life to work, and the best way to remain in harmony with His plan is to allow His Spirit to work through us, helping us to bear fruit that is pleasing to Him.

Intimacy with God defies trends and positions us for His exceedingly abundant blessings. Following His Spirit is the difference maker that causes those blessings to chase us down. As we strive to embody the qualities we admire, we honor God and become beacons of His light in a world that deeply needs it. As Jesus Christ instructs us in Matthew 5:16 (NIV), “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” While we may often believe our spiritual maturity is where it should be, it is ultimately God who determines our growth. Sometimes, we need to deepen our focus on His light to reflect it as He desires. When we do, the love and mercy we exhibit will become a magnet for the blessings we seek most. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Embodying the Qualities You Desire”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

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