Here’s the scenario of a Christian woman who is turning 50, has never been married, and deeply desires to be. She is troubled by the advice and attitudes of those around her: “What happened? It feels like I just turned 40 yesterday. Time has flown by so quickly. In just a month, I’ll be celebrating my fiftieth birthday. Everyone keeps asking what I want for my birthday and if I have any plans for the big 5-0! I’m too embarrassed to admit that I have no plans—and no special someone to share it with. I’m the oldest of three siblings; my two younger brothers are both married, and one is on his second marriage. Friends constantly warn me about the complexities of married life, telling me to be careful about what I’m praying for. A co-worker who is on her third marriage told me that I don’t know how good I have it to still be single, avoiding all the headaches and complications. I never want to have to mark the check box ‘never married’ again. But I’m worried that at this age, I’m just being naïve about it all.”
Philippians 4:12-13 (NLT) says, “I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” This passage shows how the Apostle Paul found peace and strength no matter what life threw at him. Paul explains that he has learned to be okay whether he’s well-fed or hungry, rich or poor. This ability to stay content isn’t about having everything we want, but about trusting in God’s plan and purpose for our lives.
In verse 13, Paul shares his secret: he can handle any situation because of the strength he gets from Christ. This means that true strength and satisfaction come from a strong relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, not from what we have or don’t have. It’s a reminder that no matter our circumstances, we can find stability and confidence through our faith in God.
It’s natural to long for the joy and security of a committed relationship and desiring a lifelong partnership with a spouse is a genuine and heartfelt aspiration. However, it’s important to consider whether this desire is accompanied by a realistic understanding of what marriage entails and the growth required for a successful partnership.
Marriage can indeed bring deep joy and a sense of security, but it also demands significant personal and spiritual growth. God’s Word gives us insight into the spiritual preparation needed for a fulfilling relationship by telling us in Proverbs 27:17 (NLT): “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” This reflects God’s wisdom that relationships, including marriage, require mutual growth and effort. It’s not just about finding the right person but becoming the right person through personal and spiritual growth.
Ephesians 5:25 (NLT) also provides profound wisdom for spiritual preparation: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” God makes it very clear to us in this verse that a successful marriage requires deep commitment and selflessness. We can’t be naïve about what it takes to maintain this union. We must be prepared to give and receive love in a sacrificial manner. It involves embracing selflessness and nurturing virtues like patience, empathy, and humility.
No matter our age, longing for a committed relationship is not naïve; however, it is crucial to recognize that marriage requires ongoing spiritual preparation and growth in the example of Jesus Christ. Preparing for marriage involves understanding God’s requirements for being a spouse, developing attributes that reflect the fruit of the Spirit, and aligning with Christ’s example to meet the expectations of a partnership. We are equipped by God to navigate this preparation with the fullness of His grace, love, and power. Be assured that embracing marriage with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of God’s Word helps us set realistic expectations. Our willingness to grow in this way can lead to a truly fulfilling relationship where Christ is the head and pleasing God is always the priority. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Never Married” written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.