Is loneliness simply a state of mind or is it more than that? Some might argue that it’s an emotional reality of sadness and isolation, and that it makes us feel powerless to do anything to change it. Loneliness is something we all experience at different times in our lives, whether it’s the kind that hits when we’re physically alone or the deeper sense of isolation from others. Either way, it can drain our hopefulness and hinder our faith about our futures. The emptiness is deafening, making us feel so lost and unfulfilled. The idea of changing our mindset about loneliness and trusting that it doesn’t define us might sound overly optimistic. If it feels that way to you, it’s probably because the weight of loneliness is keeping something incredibly valuable locked away, preventing it from rising to the surface of your soul.
So often, we pray for God to take away the symptom without considering that we might need to do more. We may need to do our own soul work of going deeper to uncover the root cause. It may not be easy to swallow, but loneliness can be a symptom of something much deeper, and because that “something deeper” remains unknown, it can make loneliness feel like it is out of our control. In reality, the process of confronting that root cause may be just as important, if not more so, than addressing the feeling of loneliness itself.
1 Corinthians 14:33 (NLT) says, “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people.” This verse emphasizes that God’s nature is peace and order. To live a successful Christian life, it is essential that we never underestimate or neglect this pivotal truth. Our Heavenly Father is a God of precision, and everything He does is perfectly organized. His Word not only affirms this, but His Word, in and of itself, is orderly and perfect. He has given us free-will and as such, we have the responsibility to align our lives with His divine order and purpose. God, in His infinite and incomparable wisdom, will not overstep His Word or violate the order He has set forth in it. He has entrusted us with the care and condition of our souls. When anything within us disrupts our faith and peace, we have both the privilege and obligation to partner with the Holy Spirit and go deep. With the Spirit’s guidance, we can restore alignment and harmony with God’s purpose, ensuring that nothing hinders our relationship with Him.
Appropriate Priorities Align Us with God’s Order
Deep within the souls of some women is the belief that if we have a man to call our own—someone who will love us—our loneliness will disappear. This belief suggests that another human being can make us feel or be whole, that they can fill up the emptiness within our souls. However, this belief is contrary to the truth of God’s Word. It hinders our faith and keeps us trapped beneath the weight of loneliness. Psalm 37:4-5 (NLT) tells us, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.” If our priority is to find delight in anyone or anything above our delight in God, we will not receive the true desires of our hearts. Only by delighting in God and committing everything we do to Him can we find fulfillment and purpose in our lives.
Proverbs 3:6 (NLT) tells us, “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” The priority of seeking God’s Will, and thereby putting aside our own wills, aligns us with God’s order. When you commit to take the steps to lean into God’s guidance through His Holy Spirit and follow the Spirit’s lead, your emotions and thoughts will ultimately align with God’s Will. Loneliness is not the boss of you, Christ is. It’s up to you to make this crystal clear.
God can never, ever be number two. It’s just not who He is. So, we must make a shift to knock loneliness, or any other thing that hinders our faith, out of a dominate position in our lives. We do this spiritually first. The answer to loneliness can’t come from outside of us and having a man in our lives will not resolve the emptiness we may feel; at best, it will only mask it. Colossians 2:9-10 (NLT) tells us, “For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” We are complete in Christ right this very moment. This is our reality! The only thing that keeps us from fully embracing it are our thoughts and beliefs. As Ephesians 4:23 tells us, we must renew our minds and align our thoughts with the promises and truth of God’s Word.
Delight in Your Relationship with God
Our Heavenly Father wants us to stop punishing ourselves by allowing our emotions to sink us. To delight in God, as it says in Psalm 37:4, is to choose Him consistently and preeminently over everything else. It’s not about cozying up to Him just to find a partner. That’s not authentic love. God knows it and the enemy does too. In John 4:24, our Redeemer tells us we must worship God in spirit and in truth. When He explained this to the woman at the well, He emphasized the honesty, integrity, and alignment with truth that God requires. We cannot fake it; we must come to the Father with a heart that is led by the Spirit. True worship begins within. It is an inner reality that is expressly outwardly.
In many ways, the loneliness we think we feel for human connection is actually masking our deeper need to connect with God through Jesus Christ in the most intimate way possible. While human relationships are important and provide comfort, as God demonstrated from the very beginning through Adam and Eve, human relationships should bind us closer to Him. They can never fully satisfy the deepest desires of our soul. What we truly crave is closeness to the One who knows us best and loves us most. It’s not about struggling to put God first. It’s about living as though we know He’s our everything and enjoying the fullness of our relationship with Him through communion and fellowship. In Him, we find the acceptance, understanding, and love that no person can provide. Our hearts were made to find their deepest satisfaction in God alone, and it is only by turning to Him that we can experience the wholeness and intimacy that our souls long for. ■
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Turning Loneliness into Fulfillment”, written by Rev. Fran Mack. Edits by Kim Times and K. Lizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.