Never did I imagine I would be that woman—the kind of woman who became nervous when my man took longer than usual at the store, the one who discretely checked his phone while he was in the shower, or the one who felt insecure at the thought of him spending time with friends instead of with me. My mother and grandmother had taught me well. I knew better, and I didn’t like the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I had to come to terms with the fact that I had placed more value on my man’s opinion than on what God says about who I am.
Each day, like all of us, I choose who I’m going to put my trust in. It’s a very conscious exercise that either positions us in humility or in arrogance. When I didn’t know the truth the way I do now, I made the decision to let my feelings, thoughts, and desires take control, rather than trusting and loving God more. This was a lack of God-confidence—a confidence I didn’t have, but desperately needed. It was hard to face that truth, but I knew I had to be real with myself, and most importantly, I had to be transparent with the Father. As Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT) reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Trusting God requires surrender, and it starts with being honest with ourselves and with Him.
Proverbs 16:9 (ESV) says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Without God’s Word planted in our minds, our hearts will lead us down the wrong path, because we lack the wisdom and truth needed to live a successful Christian life. Each day, we have the privilege of waking up and surrendering ourselves to God, and we must be intentional about the humility and faith that this requires. It means striving to live rightly in God’s eyes, understanding that He is Alpha and Omega, all-knowing and all-powerful. God is holy, and because we were made in His image, He expects us to submit to His authority and live righteously, seeking Him first in all things. When we fail to do this, our significant relationships are often the first place where the consequences show up, revealing our missteps and misaligned priorities.
I made some foolish decisions in my early adulthood because I didn’t know any better. I loved God, but I didn’t truly know Him. As a single woman navigating adulthood, it was challenging, and I often found myself mimicking the lifestyle and beliefs of those around me simply because it was all I knew. My emotional foundation wasn’t anchored in the strength of knowing and loving God—it was built on the rollercoaster of fluctuating feelings from one day to the next. This left me vulnerable to making choices that didn’t align with the purpose and peace God had planned for my life.
Joshua 24:15 (NLT) says, “But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” This passage is a wake-up call to those of us who struggle to prioritize God first, putting our partners and others before Him. As Joshua spoke these words to God’s people in the Old Testament, they should still resonate with us today. God is asking you, “Who will you serve?” If our answer is that we will serve the Lord and seek Him above all else, we must align our lives and decisions with His Will. This means choosing His way, even when it’s uncomfortable, and trusting that His plan for us is always the best one.
Choosing to put God first was the first decision I made in the right direction. Matthew 22:37 says, “Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’” Jesus makes it clear—we must love God with everything that we are. This was the opposite of what I had done in my failed relationship. My self-worth meant nothing unless I trusted and believed that God loved me so much that He gave His only begotten Son for me. This is how we take the first step toward understanding true love. Without this understanding, we would simply be spinning our wheels, going in all directions without any real purpose.
When you encounter single Christian women who aren’t shaken by being alone or stressed about not having a man in their lives, it’s because they are spiritually anchored in God. They are emotionally and mentally strong because they have faith that God is their sufficiency—He is their everything! They won’t tolerate behavior that doesn’t align with what God authorizes. They know what’s acceptable and what isn’t, and they set clear boundaries. By choosing to please God first, you set yourself up for true peace and fulfillment. When you prioritize Him, everything else falls into place as He leads you toward His best for your life. ■
English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Who Will You Serve?”, written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.