“He’ll come when you aren’t looking.” If you’re in wait mode for the one God has ordained to walk with you through life, you’ve probably heard this phrase more times than you can count. Of course, it’s said by well-meaning people—those who know that this has been on our hearts and prayers for a while. The truth is, sometimes these words are a source of frustration. You might ask yourself what those words even mean. Surely, we’re not supposed to pretend we don’t desire companionship or be indifferent to it. This thing is on our hearts. We’re never going to not care whether God brings this person into our lives. Does always being on the lookout somehow disqualify us?
This phrase can sometimes be misunderstood. It’s not about ignoring the desire for love—it’s about shifting the focus of our hearts. Living in a constant state of searching, obsessing over when and how it will happen can cause more harm than good. We begin to measure our lives by what we lack rather than by the abundance of how God blesses us every day of our lives. We mistakenly think that God needs to do something different, when the reality is that He’s already doing great things for us. Overlooking this may mean that we’re not as grateful to Him as we should be. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33 (NLT): “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” When we shift our hearts toward God first, we begin to see that He is already meeting our needs in ways far greater than we imagined.
Many single sisters in Christ treat their season of singleness as something to be endured rather than something to be embraced. They behave as if their real life only begins when someone else enters the picture, and that’s not the truth. Psalm 118:24 (NLT) tells us: “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Every day—every season of life is a gift from God, and joy is found when we’re fully living the life He has given us today.
In John 15:8 (NLT), our blessed Lord and Savior made a declaration that is foundational for our lives. He said: “When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.” As single people, we can become so consumed with the quest to find the right partner that we lose sight of the very reason we were placed on this earth. There are individuals that say they are true disciples of Christ, but they are not, and he gives us a true disciple’s discerning characteristic; they bear much fruit.
In Colossians 1, the Apostle Paul prayed for the spiritual growth and wisdom of the church in Colossae. He wanted to encourage them and help to strengthen their faith by reminding them of the power and authority of Christ. He prayed that God will give them complete knowledge of His Will, along with the spiritual wisdom and understanding, so they could live according to His divine plan.
As followers of Christ, this should continually be our prayer as well. Colossians 1:10 (NLT) reminds us of the result of living in alignment with God’s Will: “Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.” When the way we live honors and pleases God, we’re in the fruit bearing business—always bearing fruit that impacts the lives of others in the way that our Heavenly Father ordains. We cannot dismiss or underestimate our obligation and privilege to serve our King in this way.
We must make sure that our desire for marriage and companionship does not supersede our desire to fulfill our purpose in God’s Will. His plan is never dependent on our striving. We’re to walk by faith every moment of our lives. The oneness of us and our future partners is not a random occurrence. The moment God ordained for you to meet the right person was written in His plan long before you were even born. Psalm 139:16 (NLT) reminds us of this: “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” This means that we don’t have to chase it or try to force it. We simply must trust the Father and do His Will.
When people say, “He’ll come when you aren’t looking,” what they should be saying is, “He’ll come when your heart is fully surrendered.” Our Heavenly Father is not expecting you to stop caring about getting married. He wants your heart to be fully committed to Him. Rather than searching for someone to complete you, He wants the truth cemented in your heart that you’re already complete in Christ. We need to live and love God fully, not anxious, but trusting that when our eyes are continually upon Him, He will bless us with the desires of our hearts. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Always Bearing Fruit”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.