1 John 4:18(NLT)
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”
How do we fully experience the beauty of love without building walls to protect ourselves from being hurt? As much as we want to guard our hearts from pain, disappointment, and heartbreak, the moment we allow ourselves to truly love another person, we open the door to all those risks. 1 John 4:18 reminds us that “perfect love expels all fear” and this points us in the direction of God’s love—a forgiving love that doesn’t harbor any resentment or fear. We should always approach relationships with this assurance, but fear tempts us to hold back. It causes us to want to shield ourselves from the vulnerability that love requires. It tries to convince us that it is safer to keep people at a distance or to depend only on ourselves. Yet God’s Word shows us that fear has no place where His perfect love is allowed to take root — and it’s His love that tears down the walls fear tries to build.
We often pray for a person that will never hurt us— someone who’ll love us perfectly, never misunderstand us, and never trigger our insecurities. But the truth is, that kind of perfection doesn’t exist on this side of heaven. Down here, most of us have accumulated some baggage. We’re dealing with real people, broken people — just like us. We’ve all got our own history, our own pain, and our own ways that we’ve learned to cope over the years. So, when we step into love, we’re not just bringing our hearts and that best self we reveal at first — we’re bringing our baggage too. And so are they. That’s why love, real love, takes grace. It takes maturity. And it takes a willingness to risk being hurt, knowing that God’s love is big enough to hold us when people fall short.
Keeping it real: God never asked us to build those walls. He tells us in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) to “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” We’re called to protect the Word that is in our hearts, not allowing the enemy to steal it through the negativity and lies of the world. But let’s be truthful, our Heavenly Father never told us to build walls. He does that. He’ll protect our hearts as we guard the truth. So, this isn’t about shutting people out and thinking we’re safe, because doing so shuts love out too. That’s not freedom — that’s fear in disguise. And God’s not in that. He invites us to let Him do the work of our hearts, to slowly tear down the bricks we stacked in survival mode. He’s gentle with it, too — not forceful, but faithful. Psalm 34:18 (NLT) says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” He doesn’t shame us for the walls we built — He sits with us inside them and shows us how to come out whole.
Love will begin to look different when we let God lead. It’s not about finding the “perfect” person who won’t hurt us; that person doesn’t exist. Relationships will stretch us in ways we can’t imagine, so it’s about loving the one God sends and being loved despite the imperfections. In 1 John 4:19 (NLT), it says, “We love each other because he loved us first.” It’s that simple. We don’t love because we’ve figured everything out. We love because God’s love for us is the foundation. He’s the One who makes love safe, not because it’s flawless, but because it’s anchored in His perfect love — the kind that covers our flaws and doesn’t walk away when things get messy. What’s beautiful is that we can finally love others with the same grace and forgiveness that God gives us when we let His love tear down our walls. This is where we finally understand that vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s strength in Him.
At the end of the day, the wall that fear builds isn’t just about protecting us at all. It’s actually keeping us from the very thing we were made for: love, unity, and freedom in Christ. God’s love is the only thing strong enough to tear those walls down, piece by piece. Only He can make us whole again. Recognize that you don’t need to wait for perfect circumstances or perfect people to experience the fullness of love. Through Christ, you already have it. Just love through him. Say yes to God’s perfect love and perfect Will, confident that He will never fail you. That’s all the guarantee you’ll ever need. Don’t try to seal yourself off, instead trust that He’ll guide you through the risks. So, let’s trust Him with our hearts, and when He sends the one, be sure to step into the beautiful love that God offers. No walls, no fear, just love. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
“Tear Down the Wall that Fear Built?”, written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.