Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago. Today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes; it’s “ride-or-die.” This perfectly defines Mia to a tee. There are no other phrase in the English language that would do justice to her level of allegiance and commitment when it comes to her current relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.
Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”
Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the right man for her.
As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind. She has a notorious intolerance for non-sense. So, it’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion between the two of them.
Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for herself is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe, but the truth can sometimes make us uncomfortable. When it does, we think it’s inconvenient, because it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored a long time.
Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything before Him that is on our hearts. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Sometimes, the person we love just will not meet our expectation. Trying to force this is like placing a square peg in a round hole. This isn’t what God wants for any of us. The answer isn’t to hold on something that isn’t producing the life we deserve. If we’re fearful of not being loved or of being lonely, these are fears we need to release. God will help us if we ask Him and trust that He will set our feet on the right course.
Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward, she must. None of us should just go along, doing the same things, and knowing deep in our hearts that we’re not receiving the same level of love and commitment we’re giving out. Robert knows the caliber of woman that Mia is, because she’s proven herself to be loving, committed, and loyal. Yet, he still doesn’t want to make her ‘wifey’, and that is what she wants most. Let’s not ring in the New Year without the expectation, self-confidence, and faith of getting a ring. Commit to Christ-like actions, immerse yourself in God’s grace, and release anything that keeps you stuck. 1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Let the perfect love of God drive out the fear that keeps you settling for less than He wants to give you. Seek our Heavenly Father in all that you do, and you’ll witness the newness He’ll bring to your life in the New Year.■
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“‘RING’ in the New Year?”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.