Romans 8:28(NKJV) is one among many jewels in the crown of knowledge and wisdom that God has given us. It says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” When we think of this verse, we should try imagining life as one big stirring pot of every kind of circumstance one can imagine; both advantageous, and not so much. If our aim is to please God and to grow closer to Him, no matter how vigorous or slowly we stir the contents of this pot—no matter how heated or lukewarm the contents may be, the ultimate outcome is always going to be something delicious. This is what our God wants us to know. When we walk according to the path of His Will, we’ll always end up in a very good place.
Romans 8:28 is God’s guarantee, yet it is often so difficult for many of us to believe, particularly when it comes to crossing paths with the person we will ultimately marry. Some of us can become so emotionally distraught with the ups and downs of dating and misfits, that we’re too exhausted to give ‘hope’ the fighting chance it deserves. There’s a remedy for this, and truly it is the only one that makes any sense. If you’ve been praying and praying, year after year, and it doesn’t feel as if you’ve made significant headway towards taking that trip down the marital aisle, understand that indeed you have made very good progress. The right knowledge can give hope the foundation it needs, and through your dating ups and downs, you’ve made strides; perhaps some that you haven’t yet recognized.
You’ve probably learned quite a bit about what you don’t like and what you’re unwilling to tolerate in the person you want to marry. Because of this, the depth and meaningfulness of qualities like loyalty, devotion, gentleness, kindness, and affection are probably now more prominent in your pursuit of a Godly partner than those of pretty eyes, dimples, and a full head of hair. Through your experiences, you’ve learned more about making the things and qualities that are important to God important to you as well. So, rather than being impatient and disappointed, let the tailoring or honing of your expectations serve to increase your level of hope, because you are getting close to where God wants you to be. Wisdom and growth are adding layers to your level of hope, even though you haven’t realized it.
Also understand that more knowledge is needed. You’ve gained knowledge about important qualities that a marital partner should have, but there still may be more to learn about the emotional, mental, and most importantly, spiritual maturity that marriage will require. A certain kind of tenacity and endurance is necessary for two people to hold a union intact. We all think we know this, but really, we have much more to learn.
The process of spiritual preparation for marriage is an incredibly important subject for anyone desiring to be a spouse. Sometimes we forget that our Heavenly Father has a standard, and His standard is such that all things are going to coagulate, cooperate, and connect together in such a way that our good rises to the top. This isn’t going to just pop out of nowhere. There’s a human element to this equation of things working out for our good, because people’s free-will is involved, and God will never overstep a person’s free-will.
You and I must be flexible to God’s Will. This means we may have to surrender our need to control things. He will not wrestle us to the ground. No, not ever. You and I must freely surrender to Him and trust His perfect guidance. Jesus Christ is Lord! He takes the lead and guides us through his Spirit. Allowing the Spirit to guide us is the only way to get us to the right place at the right time, but there can’t be two leaders. Either we will lead, or we will allow the Spirit to lead. If he leads, we have to take a backseat. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter, Teacher, and Guide. While he’s leading us, there will be spiritual lessons we need to learn along the way. One of those lessons is understanding that if we keep doing the same things we’ve been doing, we’re going to keep getting the same results we’ve been getting. We must allow for the possibility that a greater commitment to God through following the example of Christ is necessary.
All of us have a mixture of both good and bad habit patterns, but sometimes the bad are things that block us from God’s purpose for our lives and keep us from being the person that He created us to be. Instead of following our destinies in His Will, the bad habit has taken on the leadership role. It’s the master we are serving, and it taints everything we do. So, we keep putting the wrong stuff out there, and the wrong stuff keeps coming back to us. This is the law of sowing and reaping. God created the universe in such a way that every word, deed, and behavior we plant will cycle back to us, and does so in abundance.
Simply put, when your heart is to please God and bless others, it will be reflected in your life for all to see. But when we have ugliness in our hearts, such as bitterness, anger, and arrogance; God doesn’t punish us for these things, He sets about a plan to help us change them. You see, negativity will show up like a mirror that will reflect its ugliness back to us, so we can see it for what it is and change it. The reflection will come through situations and relationships. It can be very painful, and we should be motivated to change our behaviors pronto. If we are flexible to God’s Will and Word, the Holy Spirit will open our eyes to the things we need to change so we can correct them. He will help us move them out of the way, so that we can see the opportunities God has placed before us. This is the remedy that helps increase our hope. It is to know that God is helping us to be a better version of ourselves so that we can love more fully through Christ, and receive this quality love in return. ■
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
“Receiving A Quality Kind of Love” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2016. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.