Recently, I heard an interview of a woman that was talking very openly about her past relationships. She said her last relationship was one of her worst breakups, and it was evident that she had more than just one or two breakups in her past. As she conveyed some of the details of her last relationship, which had gone horribly wrong, she made a statement that really caught my attention. She said, “After-all, we don’t choose who we fall in love with. Love chooses you.” This sounded like a pretty evolved and insightful statement. For a moment, I thought this woman was coming from a place of wisdom, having learned a few lessons about what not to do. Then, I was reminded of the verse in Deuteronomy 30:20, and it became clear that the source of her statement was not the wisdom of God’s Word.
God’s people living during Old Testament times had taken His mercy and grace for granted continually. It seemed the more He blessed them, the more they sinned against Him. They had abandoned the covenant God made with their ancestors and had turned so severely against it that they began to worship idol gods. Moses made it clear to them that there are some secrets of God that no one will ever know, but every child of God is accountable for what the Lord has revealed in His Word. Moses admonished them to come back to God and obey His instructions.
We see God’s mercy being stretched beyond the limit of what any of us can imagine. One would think that these folks would have been decimated by their own sinfulness, but again God showed them mercy and through Moses, He warned them to turn from their wicked ways before it was too late. In Deuteronomy 30:19-20(NLT), God said through Moses, “19 Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! 20 You can make this choice by loving the LORD your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the LORD, you will live long in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”
Our God is all powerful, all knowing, everywhere present, holy, magnificent and brilliant in every way. He created everything that exists. Here we have the Creator of the universe, able to do anything He wants, yet He doesn’t force us to love Him, but has made loving Him our choice. There are so many single women that believe love is an uncontrollable feeling that takes over us, and that we have no control over who we fall in love with – that it just happens. But the honest truth is that God gave us all free will choice. We pick and choose how we feel about a person, place, or thing at any given moment, without pressure.
We make conscious choices about the condition of our hearts every day. If you meet someone new tomorrow, and he doesn’t match the characteristics you feel are compatible, you decide how you’ll feel about him in your heart; whether you’ll allow him to have your number or politely steer him away from your direction.
Many complain that it’s tough being a single woman. They say this because of hurtful breakups, let downs, and just plain ol’ loneliness. And it’s true that the wait often exceeds the time we considered ‘long enough’, but there’s one central truth that no single woman can ever afford to ignore or neglect. It is the reality that God has taken notice of our past relationships. He’s watched how we let ourselves be controlled by love for a man we thought checked all the boxes, and how we haven’t let ourselves be controlled by the love we ought to have for our God.
God spells it out in Genesis 2:18(NLT), where He stated, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Heavenly Father ordained that man and woman should be helpers to one another. He took a rib from the man’s side to demonstrate they are to walk together, side by side, as equals in partnership. He made woman to be just the right helper for the man, and vice versa. So, considering God’s brilliant plan for unity, it’s no way that He would equip a man or woman with the attributes of perfect partnership and then refuse to supply the partner. God doesn’t operate like that. He’s perfect and good in every way.
Heavenly Father is not withholding the blessing of marital partnership. We withhold it from ourselves when our relationship with Him isn’t our first priority. We will always be dissatisfied with life when God isn’t the center of our existences. 2Timothy 1:7(NLT) tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” These spirits cultivate confidence and stability within. They speak to our readiness to love from a heart filled with love for God through the Lord Jesus Christ. We must learn self-control with our emotions, so that we’re operating as mature Christians with sound minds.
Be assured that if you’re praying for marriage, ‘single’ is a temporary status. It is a time to love and know ourselves more fully in Christ. It gives us space to do the work that is necessary to put God first in our hearts and minds, and to prove to Him that we are committed to His Will. When we do this, we’ll begin to enjoy this season of being single. It will not seem tough for us, because we’ll be anchored in our confidence that God is grooming us, and we will be wives who love our husbands from a place of wholeness and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“It’s Tough Being A Single Woman” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.