“He was a man that I trusted – he was someone that I thought would have my back for the rest of my life. How did I miss the signs?” Many women have asked themselves this question. Some of my dearest friends have posed it to me about the relationships they’ve had and have ended badly. They say the men who were once the center of their existences abruptly changed, and that these men demonstrated behaviors that came out of nowhere. In some instances, the men completely lost interest and wanted no further involvement with the relationship whatsoever. They either chose to be unfaithful to their commitment or began to display attitudes and behaviors that were downright hurtful. When all of this seems to come out of nowhere, and you’re caught off guard, you might feel as though you don’t have a clue about how or if the relationship can ever be repaired.
Were there signs? And if there were, why didn’t you recognize them? 2Corinthians 4:4(NLT) provides a clue that helps to answer this question. It says, “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.” This is what the enemy does to those that don’t believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Blinding the minds of individuals is one of the enemy’s methods, and he can also do this to believers if they are not suited up in God’s armor.
The tactic behind the devil’s plot is to get our attention diverted so we’re focused on something else besides the light of Christ. Through every relationship that the Lord puts together, He desires to form a strong cord through the marriage of this couple. Unity through the love of Christ strengthens this cord, and it will wrap around generations to come. We know that the devil despises unity and will do anything to tear a marriage apart. God doesn’t want us to ever be ignorant about this.
Our Heavenly Father never changes, and His standards never fluctuate. He has designed everything within the universe according to His Word, and everything in the universe responds favorably to His Word, so when we take our eyes off Jesus Christ, we must allow for the possibility that things can go sour very quickly. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the righteousness of God and His Kingdom above all other things, and blessings will be added to us. When we put anything else ahead of this, blessings will begin to subtract.
Knowing this should not place us in condemnation by no means. What it should do is show us how diligent we must be to cling to our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. If you’re not married, but in a relationship that you hope will lead to marriage, sometimes the person you love will walk away because they were not meant to journey any further with you. He’s not your destiny partner. This can be a very hurtful thing, but you must never place your love for this person above your commitment to God and your destiny in His Will. He has a wonderful plan for your life, and forever and always, you must trust this more than the disappointment you might feel.
In a marriage, we miss the signs sometimes because our radar isn’t in alignment with the destiny of our spiritual growth in Christ. So, it is possible that your spouse is responding to the reality that you have changed and didn’t realize it. We can become too comfortable and begin to spend less time in prayer, meditation, and communion with God. It isn’t always the case, but there are times that we neglect our relationship with Heavenly Father, and our spouses will begin to mirror this neglect. They unravel because we are unraveling what is meant to be a strong cord. The solution is in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we must refocus, and seek God diligently in prayer. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Where Were the Signs?” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.