A good friend called me up to ask for my thoughts on a situation she encountered with a family member. She wants to make sure she’s handling it in a Godly manner. Recently, she started dating someone and things are moving along quite nicely. Because this is a new friendship, she wants to keep it quiet for a while, but her usual family obligations and activities are posing a challenge. The new guy really enjoys her company. Since he works long hours, and they don’t get to see each other during the week that much, they have made several plans for weekend outings. The issue is that her aunt called and asked if she could visit. Her aunt wants to stay with her on a weekend when she’s already made plans. My sister-friend loves her aunt dearly, but she knows that if she allows her to stay, she won’t be able to keep her new relationship under wraps.
It shouldn’t be lost on us that when someone new enters the picture, it potentially represents an increase in our territory. If we have been praying and moving according to God’s divine directive, He has helped us prepare for the increase. Family dynamics is one of the areas where this preparation will receive a workout in ways we didn’t factor. Our allegiances are very often firmly tied to our families and the responsibilities and bonds we share with them, and a new relationship can change these dynamics.
When a person that is very significant to our destinies comes into our lives, we should know very clearly that Heavenly Father is looking at how we prioritize. Some of us have had a tendency in the past to put the man before everything else, and we sometimes do the same thing with family members; we put their needs above our need to focus on God through Jesus Christ. Our Savior commands us in Matthew 6:33 to put God first, above any other thing. We can be sure that heaven’s eyes are on us to see how we will use the preparation we’ve received. The hope is that we will use it with the grace of God and with the humility and obedience that please Him.
Discretion is a covering that shields a potential destiny partner and the relationship from preventable demonic attacks, tricks, and influences. It’s not that people intentionally cause damage, but sometimes all it takes is a wrong word or attitude to set things on an accidental collision course. Remember the record of Job, in the Old Testament. He endured great loss and was so miserable. His friends were well-intentioned, but they caused him even more misery by speaking words that were discouraging and offensive. Job told them in Job 16:2(NLT) “I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are!”
We love our family and friends, but everyone will not understand or respond to their uniqueness the way we do. Sometimes the wrong thing is said. Our best attempts at damage control are then called to bear, when everything could have been avoided with thoughtful and mature discretion. As a mature Christian woman, you must desire to give your relationship the best possible start, and God has given us the wisdom and guidance to do this.
My sister-friend of course prayed about what to do, and this is always my recommendation. We must pray and listen for God’s answer. You might think, “Well, it’s her aunt, and the need of the aunt should come before spending time with some man.” We can’t allow personal opinions to guide our decision making. Only God’s wisdom can guide us. He considers what is best for all concerned and will provide solutions that preserve everyone and are based on His purposes. We should never assume and get ahead of the Holy Spirit. We must always follow the Spirit’s lead.
1Peter 5:8 (NLT) tells us, “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” God has warned us that the enemy will make attempts to devour our blessings. Heavenly Father has told us this so we’ll be aware and take seriously our responsibility to steward and guard the beautiful gifts He gives us. Discretion is a valuable tool, especially when a relationship is too new to view. It should be used wisely and never dishonestly. We must begin our relationships by trusting and honoring God through the Lord Jesus Christ, because He will help us whenever we look to His divine guidance in this very important area of our lives. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Relationship is Too New to View” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.