This Fall will make it three years that Sharon and Greg have been dating, and they’ve planned a trip to the mountains to celebrate. Sharon hopes that Greg will propose. Before going away, she’s also planning a flight to visit her girlfriend in South Carolina who has recently divorced. Sharon really wants to be there for her girlfriend for moral support, but Greg would rather she didn’t because of everything that’s going on with the pandemic. He voiced his concerns, but Sharon was pretty adamant about taking the trip. She said, “I’m an independent thinker. Greg gives me space to figure things out on my own. This is why we don’t argue much.”
In the days after their conversation about the trip, Greg didn’t call her. Although I’m almost certain she was more upset than she let on, she rationalized it as something he would get over and proceeded to make plans for her trip to the south. A very poignant question in Amos 3:3(NKJV) serves as a barometer of unity for any couple. It asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” How can two people that are coming together for the sake of unity in Christ walk together if they don’t agree on the direction?
An independent thinker is a person that is enthusiastic about gaining new knowledge. It’s someone with great strategies and someone that can handle complex issues with creative solutions. Sharon’s opinion about Greg being upset was “just because a man disapproves of something you do, doesn’t mean you have to follow along with his ideas.” It sounds very modern, like something one might expect a very successful professional woman to say, but not a successful wife. An independent thinker that is humble before God would come up with a solution that strikes the perfect compromise so that the relationship is not injured.
Philippians 2:1-2(NLT) paints a beautiful picture of God’s heart about the unity He expects from us. It says, “Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.” God never meant for the roles in a relationship to be transferred or diminished; both are equally important. A woman doesn’t have to diminish or devalue her man’s role to validate the strength of her own womanhood, especially when he’s doing exactly what God has charged him to do, which is to protect her as best he can.
2Corinthians 10:3-5(NLT) says, “3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4 We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” Our mission as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ is to knock down strongholds of human reasoning, not to promote them, and certainly not to use them in the very relationships we want to preserve.
We must be ever so careful not to fall for the tricks of the devil and allow him to destroy the relationships that mean so much to us. We must teach our rebellious thoughts and change them to thoughts that are in line with the mind of Christ. Pride has no place in a loving relationship, so even though society tries to teach us that we can do whatever we want, God teaches us to have honor for the people that love us and have our best interest in mind. He works through them to help us stay safe. Human reasoning may tell us we’re grown, and no one is the boss of us, but humility will always cause us to submit to Christ. It will keep us continually in God’s face so that we make decisions that preserve the unity and peace in the relationships we treasure most.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Strongholds of Human Reasoning” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.