A while ago, a believer confided in me that he was shocked at the number of unmarried women that were okay with not having the commitment of marriage. Dating long term was right up their alley, but they didn’t see the spiritual significance of marriage. His goal was to meet someone with similar Christian values as his own. He wanted someone to appreciate marriage as the union in Christ it is meant to be, but he was finding it challenging. I must admit that I was very surprised by this as well. I figured that maybe he was going to the wrong places to find a wife, but that just wasn’t so.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” This passage points to the wisdom of God that is geared towards helping a union guard against selfishness. Selfishness goes against the example of Christ, and it will not give us a happy existence. Many people want to be alone because they have developed a habit of thinking, caring, and supporting things that only benefit their own self-interest. They have a fear of being further burdened, and therefore, never walk in faith when it comes to commitment and the unity that a commitment will bring.
We make ourselves dread life, instead of being grateful recipients of it. We do this because we don’t follow God’s order and refuse to trust His purpose. God always and forever knows best. We can trust the brilliance of His plan, because everything God does is perfect. Through Solomon, God teaches us His plan for two coming together and functioning as one unit. He tells us this is the best way, so that both can help each other.
Unity is a commitment. When a commitment is seasoned with God’s grace and love through Christ, this commitment cannot be broken, because it is always fortified and preserved through the Holy Spirit. Marriage is God’s institution, and He tells us the kind of mindset we should strive for to attain and maintain it. If there are issues and disharmony in the relationship, Heavenly Father has the remedy. He instructs in James 1:5 (NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” In marriages, as well as relationships that we hope will lead to marriage, Heavenly Father tells us that if there’s an issue that we are finding difficult to get over, we should bring it to Him. We should ask for His counsel and wisdom, so that any and all problems are resolved in our significant relationships through the love of Christ.
If we are truly loving the significant person in our lives, we will want the best for them. Wanting the best for them should include wanting them to have a totally committed relationship in the way God has ordained. If we are not willing vessels and do not wish to marry, we should do everything within our power to make sure we are not helping the person we care about to sin.
Our minds can be easily tricked into thinking that we know best when it comes to relationships. In reality, only God knows what is best. He created our destinies, and He knows the plans He has for our lives. Whether you are disappointed in your quest for a marital partner, just beginning it, or thinking you can do without the whole thing, seek God on the matter. Let Him lead this area of your life. If we’re leaning a little bit on the selfishness side or too much on the control side, God knows what is necessary for us to take off and put on so that we can be the person He has called us to be. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to take the time to ask God to reveal what we need to see and hear. We must wait on Him and not be impatient with His process. He will wonderfully guide us through His Spirit as His love transforms our hearts through Christ.♦
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
“God Knows What’s Best”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack, for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.