My friend recently attended a holiday gathering, and she couldn’t wait to share some of the pictures of herself from that evening. She felt that she looked her absolute best, and I thought she looked beautiful as well. Later, she told me, “I sent my ex a picture of myself from the party, just so he’ll see what he’s missing.” They broke up a few months ago, and although it was amicable, it still hurt. She had pursued her ex and always felt that she was the one holding everything together in the relationship. This time, she said she’s taking a different approach; “I’m waiting for love to chase me down.” For a moment, it sounded like a statement from a healed place, but sending pictures to her ex didn’t exactly scream that she was over her last relationship. It wasn’t a telling sign that she had learned the lessons that failed relationships always teach us.
We are taught very early on that love is an uncontrollable emotion. Romance movies and novels lead us to believe that it just happens, and we can’t help who we love. It’s this line of thinking that causes us to jump in heart first, and then we end up with a broken heart and having made a huge mistake. This isn’t what God wants. His Word makes it clear that we can control who we love and most importantly, we can control how we love.
We make conscious choices about love every day. If we meet a man that greatly enjoys being in our company, but we don’t find him attractive or compatible, we make the choice that this man will not be the recipient of our love. However, if we meet a man that we find attractive and compatible, we are far more willing to extend him the love we would not extend to the other. In these instances, our free-will choice is in full effect, and we need to be fully aware of this. God commands to switch from our brand of love and seek His brand of love with our whole heart. In Ephesians 3:17(NLT), He tells us that when we do this, “Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.”
1John 3:1(ESV) says, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” God loved us so much that He gave the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for our sins. As His children, Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” You and I are commanded by Christ to make the choice to love God with all that we are, and he also commands us to be a conduit for God’s love so that it flows from us to others. Loving God this way isn’t automatic for us. We must make the choice to love God, and we must make the choice to love others through Him.
God designed relationships to reflect His love. Therefore, relationships should be constructed and cemented in such a way that Jesus Christ is the head of them. Then, they can achieve God’s purpose, but when Jesus Christ isn’t the head, relationships lose their glue. They break apart, and this breakup should help us learn from our mistakes and teach us to love through Jesus Christ in a greater way. We must be clear that love doesn’t chase us down unless we chase the love of God down. His love is the magnet for blessings, and we should keep this truth in the forefront of our minds continually.
Love is a choice. It is a commitment to love others through the heart of Jesus Christ, and this must be done unselfishly and without bias. Loving through Christ is the only way to guarantee that this same love will boomerang back to us. Marriage is God’s institution. It was created by Him to serve His Will in the earth. It is not irrelevant or stale, but full of His splendor and generosity. There is no greater arrangement in the earth to meet the needs of humans on all fronts than the institution of marriage. We must reverence it. We must also fervently pray that God will help us to be spiritually prepared so that our significant relationships are covered with a respect, love, honor, and commitment that models that of Christ.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
“The Choice to Love Others”, written by Kim Times, edited by Fran Mack for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!