Accepting What You Can’t Change

As believers who love and honor our Heavenly Father, embracing flexibility to His Will is essential for demonstrating obedience and reverence toward Him. We must recognize that we are not in control; He is. He holds our future in His hands, a truth we need to constantly remember. Life frequently confronts us with situations beyond our control, presenting significant challenges. Our instinct is often to fix problems and manage outcomes, but we live in a world where not everyone aligns with our desires or expectations. These challenges can test our faith and patience deeply. So, as Christians, how can we find peace and acceptance when faced with circumstances beyond our control? The answer, as with every issue under the sun, lies in God’s Word.

The challenges

The backdrop of relationships can be one of the most challenging areas for learning to accept what we cannot change. Many individuals have been single for a long time, and sometimes this is due to difficulty accepting that people don’t always change to meet our expectations. This struggle to accept others as they are, rather than as we wish them to be, can be a significant hurdle in personal growth and building faith for marriage. Attitudes and thoughts that foster inflexibility don’t just stay inside our heads. They manifest outwardly, creating a barrier that can block connections with those whose hearts might otherwise be open to us.

Our spiritual growth and maturity are also deeply impacted by our ability to accept what we cannot change. This area of our lives often suffers the most when we cling to stubborn emotions that drive us to try to control everything. Isaiah 55:8-9 offers the right perspective: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Our major challenge is that sometimes we forget that we serve a God who sits high and looks low, and there isn’t anything He doesn’t know about our individual lives. The truth of God’s Word in Isaiah 55:8-9 forms the foundation of our trust in Him. Standing on this truth helps us shift from trying to control everything ourselves to trusting that God is in control of everything.

Trusting God’s Plan

God said in the Old Testament, Hosea 4:6 (NLT), “My people are being destroyed because they don’t know me.” This makes it clear that God’s people suffer because they lack knowledge of Him and, as a result, they fail to trust His plan. This verse remains relevant today. Many people allow themselves to be overwhelmed with worldly distractions, and they are not spending quality time with God by praying often and studying His Word. James 4:8 (NLT) encourages, “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” Psalm 119:105 (NLT) affirms, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” God created us for fellowship with Him, and we are not meant to control and handle everything on our own; that’s not what life is about.

Amos 3:3 (NLT) rhetorically asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” This plainly conveys that in our relationship with God, there can be only one leader, and He’s the only One. He leads and we follow, and life will eternally operate this way. Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) assures us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Trusting in this promise makes it easier to accept situations we cannot change, knowing that God’s plan is filled with hope and purpose.

Focusing on what we can change

Past heartache, pain, disappointment, and regret are things we can’t change. We simply cannot alter what has already happened—what’s done is done. But here’s the game-changer: we can totally decide how we deal with it now. We can shift our focus from what’s out of our control to the things that we can actually change, and this is key to aligning ourselves with God’s plan for our lives.

For instance, we can choose to forgive, letting go of bitterness and embracing peace. We can adopt a mindset of learning and growth by studying and reading God’s Word more. And we can also view past challenges as opportunities for developing greater faith. As we move forward, letting go and trusting God, we’re not alone. James 1:5 (NLT) encourages us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Navigating the emotions tied to our desire for control can be difficult, but we have a helper, the Holy Spirit, who lives within. By praying for God’s wisdom and being receptive to the Spirit’s guidance, we can find answers and strategies that elevate our faith and help us move beyond anxiety and worries about things we cannot control.

Learning the lesson of acceptance is challenging for many of us, but it is essential for our journey in Christ. Recognizing what we can and cannot control helps us focus on where we can make a difference, aligning ourselves with God’s Will and embracing His peace. This process enables us to release harmful emotions that are tied to things beyond our power, allowing us to move forward with greater faith and trust. As a result, we not only strengthen our relationship with God but also become better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs with grace and joy in our hearts. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Accepting What You Can’t Change”, written by Fran Mack. Edits by Kim Times and K. Lizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.

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