Spiritual maturity isn’t just about getting older – it’s about becoming more like our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. But let’s keep it real: growing older and maturing physically and mentally often means dealing with more baggage—baggage a lot of us we didn’t even realize we were carrying. Like me, I’m sure many of you have found in your conversations with sisterfriends that while we may be spiritually mature in some areas, we’re encountering major struggles in others. One of those is persistent singlehood after years of yearning meaningful companionship. After many years of loneliness, still praying and still wondering, “Will it ever happen for me?” is heartbreak on a whole other level.
Gwen doesn’t talk about the pain of loneliness she feels with most in her circle. On the outside, anyone looking at her would think she’s got it going on: thriving career, loves the Lord deeply, and has a close circle of friends. But she’s struggling. She’s been single for over a decade, and as much as she has grown spiritually, the relationship thing has her gutted. Every day she cries about it, and if anyone brings up the subject, she’s ghost—won’t even hear another word because she’s too afraid her vulnerability will be exposed.
When each year seems to stretch on without change, and despite all the growth we’ve made in our faith, the ache of loneliness causes us to doubt a God who makes the impossible possible, our faith must be stretched to exceed our pain. God’s Word is true. When He speaks, things happen! In Ezekiel 12:25 (NLT), He says, “For I am the Lord! If I say it, it will happen. There will be no more delays, you rebels of Israel.” This truth is powerful! If God says something, it will come to pass, no matter how long it takes. His promises are sure, and we can cling to them with all that we are.
But here’s what we must remember: God’s Word is clear. He predestined us to become more like His Son, Jesus, and we can’t negotiate with Him about this. It’s His Will. Romans 8:29 (NLT) says, “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” God’s goal for us is to have a heart and mindset like Christ—not to chase after outward things that don’t last. Yes, we live in a world that places a lot of focus on physical beauty, youth, and appearance. Many Christian women think that’s what will attract a man’s heart. But God says it’s about being transformed from the inside out.
The one thing we refuse to admit to ourselves is that the older we become, the more challenging it becomes to truly surrender everything to the Father. We want a man that fulfills our own list of “must-haves”. Our specifics about income levels, job titles, physical appearance, and race and background, are all aligned with our comfort zones, but those things may not line up with God’s plan for our lives. Outwardly, we pray for His Will to be done, but deep down, we still want what we want. We become convinced that we know what’s best for us. When this is truly our posture, trusting God’s timing and plan becomes a struggle.
This ambivalence is a blocker that has to be dismantled, and we’re the only ones that can do it. Some women are saying, “I don’t need marriage, I just want a good friend.” Have you heard that before? That’s fine if physical intimacy isn’t involved, but if we’re asking God for companionship and we know deep down that we’re going to sin and bring this man into it, we can’t expect God to go along with that plan. He won’t. If this is our ambition and motivation, there’s a “No” to God’s Will buried in our hearts, and we have to face it. We need to put that in check, be honest about it, and totally surrender that desire before the Father. It’s an offense to the example of Christ.
God’s Will is that we become more like Christ in every part of our lives, where everything we do, think, and say reflects God’s glory. It’s not about finding a man; it’s about drawing closer to our Heavenly Father. Gwen’s agenda was clearly stated to her friends, “My life is full. I just want a companion, not a husband.” We have to be ever so careful, and only pray God’s Word. Desiring less than what is holy and righteous in His eyes is not faith. Matthew 6:33 (NLT) tells us, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” When our focus is on God, everything else—whether it’s a relationship, career, home, or financial stability—will fall into place.
After seeing wedding pictures of a woman in her mid-fifties who had been single for many years, one of my friends said, “There’s hope for me after all.” Listen, we need to stop thinking this is a hard thing for the Lord to do. He wants our happiness infinitely more than we want it for ourselves, and He’s not caught off guard by the timing of things. Trusting in Him means knowing that, just like others, our time will come too.
The Father’s promises are rock solid. Psalm 91:4 (NLT) reminds us, “He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” So, whether you’re waiting for a husband, a career breakthrough, or anything else, remember that God’s promises are fail-proof. There’s hope, not just for my friend, but for all of us. Trust in the Lord, seek His Will for your life, and let His timing unfold. Your future is secure in Him. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“If God Says It, Then It Will Happen” written by Kim Times, edited by Rev. Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.