Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” This verse is a serious reality check. Our Heavenly Father has created us to fulfill His perfect plan for our lives. That includes the relationships He has destined for us—especially the one that will eventually lead to marriage. However, many who long for marriage often feel stuck, frustrated, or unsure of why things aren’t progressing. We pray, we hope, but things just don’t seem to be falling into place. This is where we have to face hard truths. God’s plan for your relationships will unfold according to His perfect timing. The challenge lies in how we align ourselves with His guidance. If we’re being honest, many of us struggle with following His direction in this area.
Please be clear on this one thing: when we pray to cross paths with the person that our Heavenly Father has ordained for our lives, He always provides direction and guidance towards the manifestation of this blessing. There is never a moment that the Father doesn’t do this. The issue is not whether God is speaking—it’s whether we are listening and whether we are obeying. We may hear His voice but choose not to follow it. This may be difficult to hear, but it’s essential to recognize that when we fail to listen and obey, we can block the very blessings we’re praying to receive.
Our Heavenly Father is our Source of all good things, and Psalm 84:11 (NLT) assures us: “For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” We can trust wholeheartedly that He never makes a mistake, and He will never withhold blessings from those who seek to live righteously.
Righteous living means making choices that reflect God’s Will, truth, and nature in our everyday lives. In practical terms, it’s about prioritizing values like honesty, compassion, and fairness, while avoiding actions that harm others or go against God’s teachings. Living righteously isn’t about being perfect—because none of us are, but we have to strive to follow the path God has set before us.
If we’re honest with ourselves, we must admit that our actions have sometimes caused harm to others and have gone against what God teaches in His Word. In our relationships outside of marriage, many of us have led men into sin, damaging both their relationship with God and ours. The truth is that some of us have a track record of making these choices, and sadly, many may even be prepared to continue this sinful way of conducting themselves. Our Heavenly Father will not sanction or bless this. It’s a mindset that will only continue to block our blessings. God tells us in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT): “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself. For God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” We are called to honor God with how we live, especially in our relationships, and to respect the sacredness of the body He has entrusted to us.
Our prayers and desires must be aligned with God’s purpose, not just our own personal desires. Sometimes God’s purpose and plan looks very different from what we have envisioned, and we must accept this. 1 John 5:14 (NLT) reminds us, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” When we’re operating outside of God’s Will, we’re out of fellowship with Him. Our only recourse is to go to His Word so that we can understand His Will, and then follow it. We shouldn’t let our prayers and fasting be in vain, yet for some of us, this is where we are. We’re showing devotion to God only so we can get something from Him. James 4:3 (NLT) tells us, “And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong. You want only what will give you pleasure.” When we pray with selfish motives, our prayers miss the mark. God wants our desires to line up with His Will. He wants us to ask for things that reflect His purpose.
If we don’t get answers, sometimes it’s because we not praying God’s Word and Will. We must take notice: the operative words in our lives should forever be “Let God’s Will be done!” This is the only way to ensure that our steps are ordained from the very beginning. No matter how many relationships we enter or how hard we try, if it’s not in line with God’s Will, we will never find true satisfaction. We’ll end up picking the wrong people, and the consequence is that our efforts to partner are stagnated, leaving us feeling disappointed and unfulfilled.
There are also times when God sends the right person into our lives, but we reject them. When this happens, there’s significant work to be done in our hearts and souls. Rejecting God’s plan in this way is a sign that we’ve taken on the role of Lord in this area of our lives. We’ve assumed that we have the right to reject what God has ordained. That’s not going to work. This posture is dangerous and unsustainable. It will always lead us astray, because it places our own desires above God’s perfect plan. Recognizing and correcting this mindset is essential if we want to truly walk in alignment with God’s Will and experience His blessings.
We don’t get to “try people on for size.” That’s not love, and it’s certainly not God’s Will. If we think this way, we’re in the wrong headspace. People are not dispensable, and God does not use them for our relationship amusement. Only Satan uses people in this way, manipulating situations for selfish gain. True love, as God intended, values others deeply, seeking to honor and love them through Christ. When we align our hearts with God’s heart and Word, we begin to see people as He sees them—not as tools for our own desires, but as individuals deserving of respect and care.
It’s a crippling thing when we think too highly of ourselves, believing that we can simply let the right person go, and that God will send someone else in their place. This mindset reflects a misunderstanding of God’s perfection and His plan for us. It shows a lack of faith, one that believes we can afford to make decisions based on our own desires rather than trusting in God’s plan and purpose. When we fail to recognize the value of what God has placed before us, it often leads to regret and missed opportunities. God’s plan is intentional and precise. Rejecting what He has ordained will not lead to better outcomes.
Our Heavenly Father does it right the first time, and we need to trust that His plan is perfect from the start. Often, our intolerance to discomfort blinds us from seeing this truth. Many of us claim to understand that the person God has for us will reflect our baggage back to us, but we grossly underestimate how deeply this impacts our egos. Sometimes, our baggage attracts familiar spirits, bringing those old patterns and negative energies to the forefront. This can unintentionally push away the very person we need in our lives. We get angry with them, blaming them for the mess, when in reality, they are simply reacting to the sin we’ve refused to confront. The truth is, our closest friends may not always tell us what we need to hear. Instead, they often coddle our insecurities, leaving us stuck in spiritual immaturity, unable to grow into the people God is calling us to be. If we want to experience real growth and transformation, we must be willing to face our flaws head-on and let God clean up the mess we’ve neglected.
When it comes to our pursuit of marriage and having our steps ordained from the very beginning, we’ve got to truly repent. This requires us to take a brutally honest look in the mirror, and let’s be real—that’s not easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. It takes real courage to admit that God isn’t making us wait, but rather, we’re the ones who have distanced ourselves from His blessing. No one wants to face that truth. But make no mistake—unconfronted, unacknowledged, and unrepented sin will prevent us from finding fulfillment. If we don’t deal with it, our eyes will remain blinded to the truth. Loneliness can be a harsh teacher, but it shows us that God will allow us to feel the sting of resisting His Will. It’s a painful yet necessary lesson that forces us to confront what we’ve been avoiding and move toward the blessings God has for us. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Steps Ordained from the Very Beginning” written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.