All of us get angry at some point in our lives. It’s part of being human, and nobody escapes it. Even our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, expressed anger at the Pharisees in Mark 3. He was deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts; they refused to have compassion and honor God’s healing power. He showed us that anger is not a sinful response, but a righteous one towards hypocrisy and dishonoring God. However, if it is rooted in the wrong motivation and targeted in the wrong direction, anger can cause significant damage to our lives and relationships.
I don’t get angry often, but I respond to it a lot differently now than I used to. The last time I had those feelings, it took me to a place that I recognized instantly as a danger zone. But instead of reacting, I took the time I needed to regain my calm. I knew right away that I had to check myself and not allow my feelings to run the show. And trust me, this approach wasn’t something that happened overnight. It’s taken years of maturing through God’s Word and learning from my mistakes. Through it all, I learned that anger should never have control over me or anyone else. As the psalmist said in Psalm 4:4 (NLT), “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.”
As born-again believers, we’re called to live by a higher standard, especially when it comes to our emotions. When we accepted Christ as our Savior, we made the decision to live and love like him. But let’s be real—when it comes to anger issues, many of us are still a work in progress. We still struggle with bad attitudes, sharp words, and hearts that aren’t fully healed. Anger often bubbles up from deeper issues like hurt, bitterness, or an unrepented heart. And if we’re honest, sometimes we’re just plain tired of being hurt and frustrated and let our anger get the best of us. James 1:19-21 (NLT) reminds us: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.”
Anger, if allowed to grow, can tear down everything around you. It doesn’t just affect your relationships; it can destroy your soul if you’re not careful. And let’s be clear: how you interact with people—whether family, friends, or that person you’re dating—shows the truth about the condition of your heart. Take a moment and think about that. When we’re emotionally healthy, we can show up in relationships with love, patience, and grace. But when we’re not, we’re risking the hearts of those around us.
This is especially true for single women. Too often, there’s this rush to find a partner, to get married, to “fix” something in your life. But, before jumping into any relationship, especially one as serious as marriage, you need to check your soul. Have you taken the time to nurture your emotional and spiritual health? Are you truly ready to give yourself fully to someone else, or are you just looking for someone to “complete” you?
We must deal with our issues now, so that we’re not in a position of injuring someone else’s walk with the Lord. Colossians 3:8-9 (NLT) makes it clear: “But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds.” Before entering into any kind of commitment—especially marriage—you need to address the emotional baggage, bad habits, and unhealthy reactions that may be lurking in your heart. We don’t have to know everything about the ‘why’s’ of what we do and feel, but we must have the humility and faith to release anything that doesn’t reflect the light of Christ. The Word tells us to strip off that old nature and let go of things like anger, rage, and slander. All of that must go before you can build something healthy and lasting with another person.
If your heart is not aligned with God’s Word, it’s time to slow down. Don’t rush into something because it feels good in the moment or because you feel pressured by age, society, or your emotions. Take a step back and give your soul the attention it deserves. Allow God’s Word to wash over you. Colossians 3:16 (NLT) says, “Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives.”
As the saying goes, this is not just about finding the right person, but about becoming the right person. When you’re rooted in God’s Word and your heart is in good standing with Him, you’re not just preparing for a relationship; you’re preparing for a life that honors God and helps others thrive. And when you do meet someone, their heart won’t be at risk by being with you.
Matthew 18:6 (NLT) serves as a reminder of the responsibility we carry when it comes to relationships: “But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.” When you’re in a relationship, especially a romantic one, you’re responsible for the other person’s heart. That’s a heavy weight to carry, and it’s why it’s so important to be emotionally and spiritually prepared before committing to anyone.
So, if you’re not in a good place mentally or emotionally, it’s okay to take your time. Heal. Let God work on you. Drench yourself in His Word so that when the right relationship comes along, you’ll be ready to give from a healthy, healed, and whole heart. So, if you’re not in a good place mentally or emotionally, it’s okay to take your time. Heal. Let God work on you. Take the time to get your soul in alignment with God’s Will because His is the power that saves and heals—not just your soul, but also the souls of those you love and eventually commit to. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Power that Saves Your Souls”, written by Kim Times, edited by Reverend Fran Mack and KLizzie for Sundie Morning Sistas ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.